Reaching for Happiness

Chapter 43

I was sat at home, and I'd had a long think about the baby. I was finally gonna tell Aston about the whole situation I was in, tell him that there was a chance I could lose the baby. It would break his heart, but he had to find out sooner or later.. I was waiting for him to come home from work. He'd been in the studio writing with the boys all week, and I'd hardly seen him. I sat staring at the wall, wondering how I could word it. I was knocked out of my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening and closing, then being locked.

'Baby, I'm home!' I heard Aston call out.

'I'm in here' I spoke, loud enough for him to hear, but not a shout.

'Hey gorgeous' he smiled, leaning down to kiss my lips softly.

'Hi. Did you have a good day at work?' I asked politely.

'Yeah, we've got a great new track!' he grinned.

'That's great' I smiled.

'I'm just gonna go have a shower, then I'll be right back down' he winked. As he went to jog up the stairs, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

'Aston, we need to talk' I sighed.

'What's wrong?' he asked, lifting my chin up with his finger. Our eyes met, mine threatening to leak tears.

'It's the baby' I sniffled.

'What about the baby?' he asked, concerned.

'When I had the fall.. After the whole Sara incident.. I got some really bad news in hospital' I said, a tear rolling down my cheek.

'What news? What happened?' he asked, taking both my hands in his.

'My womb got damaged in the fall, so the baby is probably gonna be really premature. And I.. I could lose it' I sobbed.

'What?' he asked, shocked.

'I'm sorry I didn't tell you' I cried, leaning in to hug him. He stepped back, avoiding my hug.

'So.. You knew all this time, and didn't tell me? I thought we were in this together!' he shouted at me.

'Aston, I'm sorry!' I cried even harder, reaching out for his hand.

'GET OFF ME!' he practically screamed at me. He stormed up the stairs, me following him.

'Aston, wait!' I shouted after him, trying to keep up but being careful not to fall. As I finally reached our bedroom, I saw him pull out a suitcase from the top of our wardrobe and start filling it with clothes; his clothes.

'Aston, what are you doing?' I sobbed.

'Leaving' he replied bluntly, his face showing no emotion.

'Aston, isn't this a bit drastic? And you have nowhere to go! This is your home' I cried, trying to persuade him to stay.

'I don't want you anywhere near me!' he snarled at me. I stood by the door as he pushed past me with his suitcase. I heard him run down the stairs and then the door slam shut.. I slipped down the wall, crying into my hands. Not only had I lost my baby, but now I'd lost the love of my life. My life wasn't worth living anymore.

Eventually, I pulled myself up and trudged down the stairs into the kitchen. I rooted around in the draws, looking for something sharp. I came across a pair of scissors.. They would do. As I was about to leave the kitchen, something caught my eye.. Mine and Aston's memory board. We'd pinned pictures on it to make our kitchen more homely. I stroked my fingers across the baby scan which sat in the corner. The ink had run slightly from when Aston cried on it after the whole situation with Sara. I took the memory board off the wall and carried it upstairs with me. I placed it on our bed before putting the plug in the bath and turning on the taps in our en suite. I walked back into our bedroom, searching for some paper and a pen. When I found some, I scrawled a note to Aston on the paper.

Aston.. 

I'm so sorry I hurt you the way I did. Just remember.. I love you. I'll always love you. Don't forget that.

Love, Chloe xxxxxxxxxx

P.S. I'll miss you <3

I pinned it to the memory board, before stripping off my clothes. I grabbed the scissors I'd collected from the kitchen and made my way back into our en suite. The bath had overflowed slightly, but I didn't really care. I slipped into the bath, slowly relaxing my muscles. Well, this was it. I grabbed the scissors from the side of the bath and opened them up, revealing the two sharp blades. I slowly pressed the cool blade into my left wrist, sliding it across. It stung a bit, but the physical pain was quickly replaced by my emotional pain. I repeated the same actions on my right wrist before placing the blood stained blade back on the side of the bath. I slowly slipped down, my head becoming fully submerged underwater. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but it was useless.. I was crying, crying underwater. I didn't even know that was possible. 

After a few minutes, the bath water started to ripple.. I could hear my name being called quietly. It felt like someone had grabbed me, and was shaking me.. Trying to pull me out of the water maybe? Suddenly, I was lunged out of the water. I gasped, coughing and spluttering, my throat and lungs refilling with air. I opened my eyes to reveal Aston staring at at me. I wasn't in the bath anymore, and it wasn't daytime.. It was dark outside, and it felt like I was sat on a leather seat.

'Where am I?' I panicked, looking around nervously.

'Babe, calm down!' Aston chuckled.

'What happened?' I asked, confused.

'You were dreaming babe.. You fell asleep in the taxi. Don't worry, we're home now' he smiled, rubbing his thumb over my arm and kissing my forehead. I looked to my right to see JB, Oritsé, Marvin and Nikki sat looking at me.

'Um, okay.. Bye guys'

'Bye' they all chorused, smiling happily at me. Aston helped me out the taxi and inside the house. I guess we'd just gotten back from the red carpet event.. Thank goodness that was only a bad dream.