Even when I got what I wanted, the kind of my dream job.
It's not even fulfilling me
I'm still sad.
Today they got angry with me again, I thought it's not in my desk job but why should I master it? my mind and body both are messed and really tired from this work. I mean, I know nothing comes easy but why is it never easy? I began to question my purpose in life again.
"SARA??? WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?"
I forgot that I am currently meeting Tae,
"I'm sorry, Tae, what did you say again?"
"you're not listening, what happened?"
I admit that I can't focus right now, my mind is just all over the places, I'm starting to think about stop living life again but I don't wanna look sad in front of Tae.
"Omg Tae, I'm so sorry, I think I'm kinda tired right now. Is it okay if we just go home?"
"Yeah sure, but do you wanna tell me what happened tho? or is it because of work?"
"maybe it's because of work, I've told you about my bosses and co-workers right?"
***
I just got home from work, it's actually insane how the company has been running this overworked hours like it's not even a crime to employees. and that's on capitalism, right?
it's just when I'm about to sleep, Tae is calling
"Hey, I just wanna make sure you're okay"
"Hahaha I'm fine just tired"
"Okay, rest well Sara you know you can tell me anything right? I'm all ears for you"
"Tae"
"Yes?"
"I think, I wanna quit"
"I won't tell you to hold on tho, I mean since you're working you look so unfocused you know what best for you"
"Do I?"
"why don't you? I think you have to listen to yourself more Sara"
"Thanks, Tae"
"Always a pleasure to help you and cheer up okay???"
***
I've talked to my boss about quitting the job, they finally accepted it and I can go once my latest project is done, tbh somehow it feels wrong but I do it anyway. but there's this one co-worker that always upset with me, I know I keep making mistakes and I've said my sorry though she just doesn't wanna forgive me. She started to raise her voice like a whole room should listen to what she's saying
"I heard you're quitting Sara"
I was just sitting at my desk finishing my job, I know this person won't let me just quit in peace
"Yes, today is my last day"
and then others just shock and asking me to hold a farewell party, others are really nice to me but I just wanna say goodbye and leave this company for good 😭
and then she started to shout again,
"Oh I'll miss you though, btw I just realized you look like my co-worker at my last company, you guys really look alike"
and then I answered half-heartedly, just because I don't wanna be rude, "Oh really? How so?"
"Yea, she doesn't even wear makeup to work, her skin is SO OILY and she easily got pimples too, so like you, right?"
"OH WOW, YEA" tbh I don't know how to react so I just spat those awkward reactions.
and finally, I finished my work despite all that.
***
"Sir, this is the final result for the ads and captions for IG and also the brochure"
"Oh okay, thank you then you can go home now"
"Thank you"
FINALLY !
***
To be frank, I truly deeply feel happy because I don't have to meet that salty ass lady again. But now the only goal in life I have is the one I've been escaping from. TO BE GRADUATED FROM MASTER DEGREE.
Tae is calling
"Are you still at work?"
"Why?"
"I don't know, I was just thinking about you. Are you okay?"
"You know what, Tae? I just quit from my job" it may sounds weird but I cried, my tears just flow out of nowhere.
"where are you? just send me your location, okay, I'll be there"
"It's okay, I'll come to you. where are you right now?"
"Let's meet at the usual cafe, I'll see you there and don't forget to dry your tears, Sara you know you look ugly when you are sad HAHAHAHA" At this point, I feel like I can see his face talking in his usual expression.
***
As soon as I see him waving at me inside the cafe, I feel like my burden is gone for a while however my shoulder feels light. I smile.
"So, what were you crying for?" asks Tae, I'm not even sitting yet
"Can you at least say hi first?"
"C'mon Sara, we know it's not necessary, duh"
without me explaining it, he suddenly says
"You know I'm always here if you need me, right?"
"Always".
