Promise (Ateez au)

Chapter XVI

He was so scared to open the door. He didn't know what could be behind that door, since Seonghwa sounded worried about Hongjoong. What was going on? Yes, he was incredibly angry at Hongjoong for what he has been doing to Seonghwa, but he was still one of his first and closest friends. If he had just chosen for him, then everything would've been different. Things wouldn't have turned out like this and they could all just comfortably live together. But no, he really had to reject Hongjoong back then in the worst way possible.

"Hongjoong? Are you okay?" Yunho carefully tried, knocking on the door softly. There wasn't a single sound coming from inside, which normally was the case. He was always busy trying to mix the substances he created to finally end his nightmare. Of course Yunho knew how much the older was suffering because of him. He was faced with that truth every single time they saw each other. He couldn't just ignore the pain in Hongjoong's eyes that he knew was caused only by him. And he hated himself for that. He felt so selfish for hurting his once best friend like that. So today he had to stop being selfish and check up on the older to see if he was doing something stupid again. He hoped not ...

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He had stopped counting the days ever since day 3. It didn't even matter. He had to suffer just a little bit more in order to finally be free.
Ever since the day he got confronted with the truth once again, of how Yunho hated him just as much as drinking blood. He couldn't handle it. And of course, just that day it had to stop working. It had always worked great to surpress his feelings. All feelings. He knew he turned himself into an emotionless monster by that, but he had no choice. It was either that or drowning in his own poisonous thoughts.
He knew it must have been over two weeks since he had locked himself up, because the hunger was getting worse every minute. He just had to get past this and then he could peacefully leave this place.

He looked up when he heard the doorknob and the door open soon after. He had expected it to be Seonghwa, who had decided running away maybe wasn't the best decision.

"Joongie, what the fuck did you do?!" The voice he never wanted to hear ever again, sounded through the room, entering his ears like a beautiful, addicting melody.
He felt how his soft but ice-cold hands wiped away the tears that unknowingly had started to run down his face.
But then he noticed the sudden fear in the blonde's eyes when his eyes landed on the ropes around the silver-haired man's wrists.

"Joongie, I-" The struggling words weren't coming out anymore when the blonde's eyes started changing colour, to a weird kind of pink. Veins started getting more prominent on his face and his nails were growing.
Of course he knew what this meant. Yunho had always thought he had been very good at hiding it, but it hadn't taken long for Hongjoong to find out about it. He knew it was his fault the younger was suffering like this.

"J-joongie, I'm s-so hungry ..." Yunho let out, one hand still on the older's cheek, the other travelling down his left arm. He softly tilted Hongjoong's head with his left hand, staring in his eyes with the most hurt and regretful feeling he's ever seen.
Of course Hongjoong knew he wasn't going to survive this, not having eaten anything himself for so long. But he was happy he would be let out of his suffering. He would do anything to die in the arms of the person he loved the most.
Yunho was doing it so unbearingly slow though. Hongjoong knew he was holding himself back, hoping someone would come in to stop him just in time.
But the silver-haired man was thinking the opposite. Just finish it quickly, end this pain now.

But indeed, Yunho's prayers must have been heard, the door opening in a hurry, someone dragging Yunho off him. The soft touches disappeared and he realised how much he missed them already. Yunho really was a drug to him, but instead of bringing him happiness, he brought him pain and misery.

"We have to bring him to his room before he kills anyone." San's voice had filled the silence that was filled by Yunho's only seconds before. "And lock it."

He felt another pair of hands against his own skin shortly after, but it wasn't even near as pleasant as Yunho's hands had felt.

"Go eat something, you're paler than normal." There was a recognisable mix of coldness and care in Mingi's voice. It had always been like this. Yunho had been the lovable one, but he wondered if the tables would turn now after they had seen the monster that was lurking under that caring mask he had always used to hide the truth behind.
But it was the most beautiful monster Hongjoong had ever seen. Yes, his hatred towards his own kind hadn't gotten any less, not that he was going to show that though, but he could never hate the most perfect being in this whole universe. Yunho would always be beautiful in his eyes.

He felt the ropes fall down on the ground, leaving quite some pain where they were before. It wouldn't take long for it to go away though, so he didn't bother with it.
Hongjoong noticed that Mingi was hesitant to leave, cleaning up some things that were scattered around on the floor.

"Take care of him. Please. I know I can't so I'm asking just that from you." The silver-haired man let out softly, knowing Mingi would hear it no matter how soft he spoke.

"W-what do you mean?" Hongjoong got reminded of the first time they met. The redhead was just a little kid and was quite annoying from time to time, but Hongjoong still cared about him. He would never admit it, because he had always been treating him like shit. He knew Mingi would never see him as something more than an acquaintance. He couldn't hide the jealousy he had felt when he saw Yunho with Jongho and Mingi. They were like Mingi's parents, and he knew he had thrown away the little amount of trust and love he got from the two when he killed Jongho. But he couldn't help himself. If he could turn back time, he wouldn't have done it. It was so impulsive of himself and was the exact reason why he had chosen to surpress his feelings to this extend. He never wanted to hurt Yunho like that ever again. He wished he could just change everything in the past so Yunho and Jongho never met and he could feel those gorgeous lips against his, cuddling up together on the couch or in bed. Or even just holding those soft hands whenever he wanted to. He wished Yunho could be his.

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Mingi finally broke the older's thoughts and he looked up at the taller.

"Yeah, I just want Yunho to know that we're still by his side. He's hungry, and we need to figure out how his body works and if he can just drink animal blood to soothe his hunger." The silver-haired man let out his thoughts, but he realised how wrong they were when he said them out loud.

"Hyung, of course he can. If we can, even though we should drink from humans, he can drink from animals too. He even taught us how to feed ourselves but letting the animals stay alive. You're right, he needs us a lot right now, but we don't have to forget what we already know. He's not a monster, and I'll prove it to everyone." Mingi stated, protecting his hyung as much as he could. He knew Yunho would never hurt any of them on purpose. If he would, then Hongjoong wouldn't be alive now anymore.

"Right, but I'll do it because I care about my hyung, not because you ask for it. I still don't know how to feel about you ..." The redhead ended, quickly leaving the room after that sentence. Hongjoong knew he didn't want to say that, but he has always been so blunt and says whatever he thinks. It would probably get him into trouble one day, but for now he was doing fine.
That couldn't be said about Hongjoong though. He knew he wasn't fine, but there was nothing he could do about it.

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I'm so sorry to everyone who read chapter VIII and IX in the wrong order. I don't know how they switched, but it didn't matter that much since one was a flashback. I changed it back now but don't worry about it if you read it the other way around. I'll do my best not to make the same mistake again :(