Can we Make It?

-5-

That night I didn't get any sleep. Shuichi stayed awake longer than he has before. He kept rubbing my back and letting me relax under his touch. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I felt so calm in his embrace. My breath was slow like his hands on my back. Comfort enveloping me letting me finally let myself relax. I haven't been able to clear my thoughts enough to relax like this.

"Kokichi, I love you. Get some rest love. I will be keeping watch this time. So rest." Shuichi breathes out into my ear. I shuddered at the feeling and took his words. I want to sleep, but I'm nervous that when I let myself relax something bad will happen to Shuichi. "Don't worry, I will keep us safe." He whispered petting my head while his other hand was on my back.

I let myself fall asleep after a moment of silence. "You need to sleep Kokichi. I love you." Was the last words I heard from his soft lips. "I love you too," I muttered. I'm not sure if the words actually left my mouth, but I hope he heard them either way.

.  .  .

It was dark and cold. I didn't know where I was. What I was doing. I didn't know if this was real or not. "Shuichi?" I asked the void. It sucked in my words making them disappear. Like I never said them.

I put my hand to my mouth and felt my lips trembling. What is happening? Is this a dream? There is no light. No sound. I'm all alone. There is no one here. Where the hell am I?!

"Shuichi!!" I felt something rip the words out of me. Hell! I don't care where I am! I need to know that Shuichi is safe! "SHUICHI!!" I screamed feeling my throat burn. I need to find him! If this is a dream I need to wake up!!

I walked forward darkness still enveloping me. I felt myself shake. I don't like this. I don't like this! The only thing on my mind is that I needed Shuichi. I needed to know he was safe. Needed to know if he was here. I hate being alone. I hate being alone! Shuichi was the only one I needed. The only one I need. I need him!

"SHUICHI!! SHUICHI PLEASE!! WHERE ARE YOU!!" I screamed breath bursting out of my lips. I felt myself having a panic attack. My body fell to the floor. Shaking with fear. Tears were pouring down my cheeks. I was silently begging that he would come for me. I wanted him here with me. I want to feel his safe embrace. I want to hear his heartbeat. I want to know he is still with me.

Don't take him from me

Please

He is the only thing I need

Don't take all I have

don't take him

Take me

Kill me

Do whatever you want to me

But don't you dare

Ever hurt him.

My vision went black and I felt my body slump onto the floor. I was in so much pain I couldn't even think. My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest and someone was stepping on it and smashing it into a million pieces. I could only hear my desperation. My need for Shuichi screaming through my head.

Please

Let this stop

Let this end

I should have never let myself fall asleep!

A light brought me back to my senses. It wasn't that bright but it was soft enough to grab my attention.

Kokichi

It's ok to let yourself sleep

I'm ok

You're ok

We are both safe

You don't always have to face this on your own.

My thoughts came back to me. I stood up and let myself close my eyes. It's all going to be ok.

.  .  .

"Kokichi," Shuichi said holding me close to his chest. I felt myself smile knowing I was safe in his embrace. He was safe with me. "Shuichi," I said trembling trying my best to hold my tears in. Suppressing all the emotions I wanted to let out. I need to stay strong for him,

"Hey, you're finally awake. You slept for 6 hours." He said making my eyes widen. 6 hours. "Really?" I asked in disbelief. "You did. I'm so proud of you." He said pulling me closer and nuzzling his face into my hair. "Thank you. I was worried that you were going to get hurt from not getting much sleep..." he whispered pulling back to kiss me.

"Did you get any sleep Shuichi?" I asked putting my hand on his cheek. "Yeah I got a couple of hours, but I'm glad that you got sleep." He said rustling my hair.

"I'm sorry," I said knowing I probably was shaking in my sleep from the nightmare. That must have woken him up. Shuichi is a light sleeper... "you don't need to feel sorry, It's ok to be scared, Kichi." He said looking at me with a small smile.

I stayed silent not wanting to argue, I sighed looking at the barricaded window. It seemed to still be pretty early... "We should get up and make something to eat..." I said groaning at the idea of having to do this another day. Live another day. "Alright, I'll help you." Shuichi grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed. "Ok."

We both got dressed and put our weapons in their holsters. Downstairs we went to the cabinet and unlocked it and grabbed some canned vegetables and beans. I sighed. We have to eat the same thing every day... except for those times where we find some bread that is actually still good... but seeing how the world is now... it's not easy to come across...

"Shuichi, Kokichi, good morning!" Kaede chirped walking into the room with Rantaro close behind her.

"Hey, guys. How did you sleep?" Shuichi asked walking over to greet them. "I actually got some sleep," Rantaro said rubbing his eye. "Yeah, me too," Kaede said with a smile.

"Here is some breakfast," I said placing the food me and Shuichi prepared on the metal plates we use. We all sat down in the living room and started eating.

"So, should we go and look for the others?" Rantaro asked making my face pale. "If you guys want to. We could always go out in groups." Kaede said studying me and Shuichi.

Shuichi looked over at me and I felt my stomach jolt. I felt sick. "We can. I think it would be good to have more people to go and get supplies..." I said wanting to add how dangerous it could be to go anywhere to get anyone because they could end up infecting all of us. "We could go out today. And when we come back we can do wound checks." Kaede offered making me flinch. "Ok," I said clenching my teeth.

-School is becoming more boring than usual. It was never very interesting anyway. Because most people at my school are too predictable and are more interested in popularity than grades... it never made sense to me... but I guess that's just a me problem... anyway. Thanks for reading!-

-ShuichiOuma010-