Can we Make It?

-24-

Shuichi's POV
After tucking Kokichi into bed Nagito walked into the room. I was confused...but regardless I slowly moved away from Kokichi. I hated the feeling of his heat leaving my arms. It was so safe...but I have to talk to Nagito.

Hajime was standing next to him again. He was still shaking a bit but now he was standing beside him. Nagito has his arm wrapped around his waist holding him close to him.

"Shuichi, we need to talk to you outside," He said gesturing to the door. I tilted my head a bit confused by his words. Why can't they just tell me what it is now?

"Ok," I said quietly. I walked with both of them slowly. I didn't want to leave Kokichi in there alone...because I know he moves in his sleep and that will hurt him. I wasn't even focused on either of them because I was so focused on how Kokichi was doing...and why I couldn't just open the door and go back to him...

"We need you to come out with us to get more supplies," He said plainly. I flinched at his words. I have to leave? But then who will look after Kokichi? He needs me to be there for him! He hated being alone...and I know he doesn't like anyone else seeing his scars for long periods of time. He also doesn't like others giving him hugs or affection.

I know better than anyone that he needs love and affection to stay sane. He hates himself...and it makes me sad that he does...but there isn't much I can do. But what I can do is be there for him and be able to hold him and love him. They want to take that from me! He is going to be so alone!

I bit on my lip as the words left my mouth. "Why?" I asked a little more bitterly than I intended to. I was just so worried that it was hard to be kind to anyone in this state...because I need to be with Kokichi! I need my Koki...just like he needs me...

"Because the unit that usually takes care of it got blown to pieces by the group we encountered last time," Hajime flinched from beside him and started to tear up. Nagito pulled him into a hug looking at me still from over his shoulder.

"We need your help, Hajime is willing to stay behind to take care of him." Hajime turned back around with a brave smile.

"I will take good care of him Shuichi," He said. But his words didn't make me feel any better. How am I supposed to leave him when he needs me most? I can't just leave him alone...why can't Hajime just go with them?

"I need to stay with him," I said letting my hair cover my eyes as the weight over me pulled my head down. I looked down at my feet with tears welling in my eyes. I can't do this! I need him! And he needs me!

"But Shuichi," He whispered. He walked over to put a hand on my shoulder but I just slapped his hand away.

"You can't take me with you, Kokichi needs me and he always comes first," I said giving both of them a glare with a frown on my face. There is no way in hell I'm going to leave him alone. Especially when he is in such a vulnerable and sensitive state...

"But Shuichi, we need you to come because you know the area best," He suggested. I scoffed at his words and took a step towards him.

"I will not leave, you got that," I glared at him holding my hands into fists at my sides. It made my hands so white my skin felt like it would split.

"I understand, I wouldn't want to leave Hajime here alone if he was in the same condition as Kokichi...so I'll just ask someone else to come...and I'll just take Hajime," He said walking away holding Hajime's hand as he dragged him along with him.

I felt guilty for turning them down just so I could stay with Kokichi...but it was worth it. I would give anything for my lover...and I mean anything. My life belongs to him, so if I have to die or make everyone hate me to make him feel safe, to be able to see him smile, then it's worth it to me.

"Shuichi," Kokichi sobbed into the pillow. I could tell he was having another nightmare. I frowned knowing he could have been having this for a while and I just left the room...I need to be here with him no matter what they say.

I smiled at the fact Nagito understood me. I'm sure he was being serious. He would drop anything for Hajime...just as I would drop anything for Kokichi. They love each other just as I love Kokichi. Only I love him more than anything...I don't need anything as long as I have him with me.

"It's ok love, I'm here baby," I whispered making my way back to the bed. I laid down and slowly moved him closer to me. I made sure to be extra careful to make sure his wounds didn't have more pressure than they already had on them.

"I love you," I said followed by many other sweet things. I kept saying them until his breathing and shaking calmed down. But even after that, I made sure to rub his back while my other hand ran through his hair. It was a soothing feeling of being able to calm him down.

When he is tense I'm tense. It's like we are connected in that way. He always knows when I'm off and I can always feel when he is feeling off. And I'm glad I am able to because I'm sure I wouldn't notice otherwise until he was on the verge of breaking down...or worse giving up...

I looked back down at him. "I'm never going to leave your side," I said finally before letting my breath slow as I relaxed against him.

-I have my driver's test tomorrow...so that's going to be interesting! Thank you all so much for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-