Sick

Anger

Namjoon's pov

6 months later

"Where's papa!?" Jimin screams at the top of his lungs as I walked through the house from work. It's been a rough day at work. My head's been in an awful headspace and all I wanted was to just sit down and close my eyes. I didn't want to talk nor did I want to think.

I had left Jimin at Jungkook's apartment for the day because he had the day off and agreed to watch Jimin.

A sigh escapes my body, I don't want to deal with this right now. I set him down and walk past him and go to my room to change. Jimin follows suit. "Daddy!" He whines.

"Daddy!" He continues to whine again this time coming to hug my leg.

"Daddyyyy?"

"Jimin inside voices please, daddy's changing!" I warn at the little boy.

He looks down and waits for me to change. "But you don't answer."

I close my eyes again. Trying to pace myself and retain my composure. It's been six long months and I get asked that question every single day
EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! I can't answer it cause I still don't know either. It made me so frustrated.

Mom and dad left to go back because they had to take care of the business. The police looked as if they were steadily giving up on the case. They hadn't come up with any leads and I was starting to get very angry at their lack of effort. The people who had taken Jin haven't come forward as well. There were no signs and I didn't know what to do. It was hard to even understand a 6 monthe ago there were so many leads.

"Do you want food?" I ask to Jimin.

"No!" He says stubbornly.

"Fine, don't eat anything then!" I shout a little making Jimin flinch. I walk over to my bed and flop down onto it.

"But daddy!" He says.

"Jimin go play, leave daddy alone, can't you!" I yell at the boy.

"But why isn't papa coming home?"

The fuel inside me burns my chest and makes me latch out.

"STOP ASKING ME THAT AND GO PLAY!" I yell out scaring him. The boy begins to cry his lungs out and runs away into the other room.

'Great'

Sometimes I think I can't handle this alone. Yes, he's my son and I should be able to take care of him by myself but I can't handle this alone. I really can't. I miss Jin so much. He'd know what to do in an instant. Like I said my support system was gone. I felt so lonely. So, so lonely. A big part of my life was missing. It made me furious that I can't do anything about it.

Jimin acts up all the time and sometimes all I want to do is act up too and that makes me scream at him in responce. He gets on my nerves easily. While everybody; my co-workers, my brother, my parents try to avoid the topic Jimin cuts straight into the wound.

Sometimes I just think I need time alone. To think and heal. I just wished they'd bring him back. Whoever they are.

I try to fall asleep but can't. This bed is just mocking me. The quiet sniffles coming from somewhere in the house just made it all the hard to close my eyes.

I get up to go look for him. I open his bedroom and see him at the foot of his bed next to the wall. His face was in his arms and his knees to his chest.

I can't believe I did that. I'm horrible.

I walk up to him and pick the crying ball up into my arms. As if on cue he latches onto my chest tightly hiccuping his tears. He cries and cries  and cries more. I rub his back soothingly trying to calm him down.

"Daddy's sorry." Silent tears glide down my cheeks as if they couldn't hold themselves in place anymore.

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To be continued. Thanks for reading.

Song recommendation: SHOOT ME - DAY6