Sick

Bargaining

Namjoon's pov

1 year later

"It's just for a little while alright."

"No!" Jimin wails with a death grip to my collar.

"Don't you want to spend some time with granmama and granpapa."

"No!" He says stubbornly.

We were outside the airport. It was a Sunday and my mom and brother were watching Jimin and I squabble over him staying with my parents for a little bit. I'd decided it's best if he gets away from all of what's happening here at the moment and spend a little time away from this place. Only for a little while. I hadn't told him about it until today and as expected his reaction wasn't pleasant.

Truthfully I couldn't bare to look at him cry and be sad all the time. It had been a whole year and still no news on Seokjin's whereabouts. Nothing at all, zilch!

This time away from this place would be good for Jimin. It is what's best for him. That's what I believe....well, that's what I tell myself.

The underlying fact would be that I couldn't handle that kind of pressure anymore. Not the pressure of raising my son but rather, the pressure of his questions and his mood. Jimin would get depressed, he wouldn't eat properly or at all, sometimes I'd find him sleeping in my bed on Jin's side and it would just brake my heart into a thousand pieces.

I didnt think it would be possible for a 5 year old to get depressed but lo and behold it happens. Everything Jimin did reminded me of Seokjin. He takes after him a lot. They way he eats, walks, talks, argues, sighs....everything. It's painful.

So I figured sending him off to my parents was the right thing to do.

"Just for a little while okay?" I try to soothe.

"I want to stay with you."

"You'll come see me very soon don't worry."

"What if papa comes back? I don't want to go with granmama." The mere mention of that word makes my breath hitch.

"Jimin, the tickets are already paid for, nomatter what you say you'll still have to go."

"No..." he says softly, he was going to start crying I knew that before it could even happen.

"Just for a little while baby." I pick him up and hand him to mom.

"No!!! Daddy!!!" He cries reaching out to me trying to get out of mom's grip. It was a hard to thing to watch but it was for the best. Only for a little while. Just for a little while.

"DADDY!!" He cries even louder.

"Jiminie, we're going to have fun don't worry. Granpapa is going to take you to the beach."

Jimin pushes against his grandmother's chest and pleads for her to let him go.

"Don't worry love, we'll take care of him. I know it's hard but take your time. Kookie look over him will you."

"Yeah mom." Jungkook replies waving the two away, I do the same until they dissapear into the building.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jungkook questions as we get into his car.

"Yes. For the both of us."

Jungkook nods slowly as he drives out into the street. "I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine Kook. I just need time."

"Call me for anything alright and take care of yourself you heard what mom said."

"I will." I say as Jungkook pulls into the driveway.

"Alright. See you."

"Bye Kook."

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That night was hell for me. I couldn't sleep properly. A memory came haunting me. And the guilt set in dramatically.

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"If I die early one day promise me that you'll always be there for Jimin. No matter what."

"Ji-"

"Promise me Joonie."

"I do but why are you saying such a thing now?"

"Nothing for you to worry about. I'm fine. I'm just saying that if a situation like that were to happen that's what i would want you to do. Never leave him, give him love and teach him nomatter how hard it is. He's a smart little bean I can feel it."

"You know, you saying all of these things just stresses me out more."
"You know what let's make a promise."

"Really? You're such a dork."

"I promise to never leave you."

"... And I promise we'll always be together."

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The dream woke me up in a cold sweat. It was dripping down my face and my back. I was in my room alone, the side to my left still bare and empty. It's raining heavily and the windows were creaking due to the strong wind.

"Jin you promised..." I say to no one in particular. A stray tear rolls down my cheek and falls onto my wrist.

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To be continued. Thanks for reading!!!
Song recommendation: I Need somebody - Day6