Jonathan Turner: "I get REAL old fashioned when I see somebody that I care about being brought home by cops."
**creds to -followtheleader- for the awesome new book cover (sorry, I did do my own questionable changes to it oops.)
#1 in Spankfic as of...
~I'm sorry for taking so long on this part! I should have more time this week to nearly complete this book! Please vote/comment! It's been fun, BMW/GMW FAM!
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John Turner found a downcast Farkle sitting on the floor in the hallway. He sat beside him, his face contorted with concern. Without saying a word, John placed an arm around Farkle's shoulders. Not a few seconds later, John could feel Farkle's shoulders begin to tremble. Farkle, like a young child, wound himself into a ball and sobbed unabashedly into his own knees. While everyone else celebrated in the waiting room, the two remained on the floor of that hallway for what seemed like hours. John finally decided to break the silence. He grabbed Farkle by his shoulders, swiveled him, and locked eyes with him.
"Farkle, this is not the end...I mean, no one can replace her real father. YOU are still her father, Farkle. This is an open adoption. You are allowed to see her without restriction...In a way, this was like my situation...Chet is still Shawn's father. Just because Shawn ended up in my care doesn't make Chet any less of his biological father, get it? If you let your daughter know how much you love her by keeping in contact with her, she will not resent you for letting her go. When she is old enough to understand, you can explain why you had to let her go. You had to do what you did so she could be better taken care of by someone with more to offer..."
Farkle's eyebrows furrowed together in confused frustration. "I have plenty to offer her."
"That is not a jab at you, K? I'm just stating the facts. You are doing the right thing here."
"I mean, how are you so sure? I could've been her sole parent. I am responsible, you know. I'm not like other low-life teen parents."
John shot Farkle a long stare. "Sure, you are a great student and swell guy, but I think deep down you know you can't. You know you don't have the same resources available to you that Eric and Nina have. Man, you're still in high school. Your job pays minimum wage. You're smart. You know that just isn't enough to raise a family on."
Farkle sighed. "Yes, I know. You are right. I just...It's hard. It's like a whole new world opened up for me when I saw her for the first time. I felt more alive than ever. Now, it's like I'm giving everything up...But I don't want Maya to be so miserable."
"Please, whatever you do, don't blame this on Maya. Cut her some slack. This crazy transition has been hard on both of you. Maybe, once life starts to get back to normal, you should look into counseling. I notice your relationship is quite strained."
"Maybe...thanks for helping me with this. You're a nice dude."
"No problem. Anytime, pal." John tussled Farkle's hair and helped him up to his feet. "You gonna join us in the waiting room? They are probably wondering by now."
"Nah...I better be going. I've got plenty more mending to do with my own father at home."
"So you're heading back home now, huh?"
"Yes, but don't bother telling Maya just yet. She'll figure it out later. Don't worry. I will eventually let her know. I just don't want her getting overwhelmed while she's still cooped up in here."
"It's your choice, man. I won't say anything."
"Thanks." They each mustered up their best smiles and went their separate ways.
John paused and thought to himself. I guess things will in fact be getting back to normal...Just me, Shawn, and Maya...huh...
Maya's POV: For some reason, I am just not in the partying mood. I mean, I'm so thankful for Eric and Nina's generosity, but...I can't help feeling a little guilty...I mean, where is my heart? Why can't I feel...I don't know...what a mother is supposed to feel for her baby? Am I even normal? So...What now? Do I just go back to normal life, like nothing has changed? But I can't knowing that the child I brought into this world is with someone else. I have to live with that. How am I going to live with that?
Maya slowly backed out of the crowded and bustling room, so she could hear herself think. She lightly tapped her head against the wall in the connecting hallway. She sunk down to the floor and let her eyes rest beneath her eyelids. She tried to concentrate on her breathing.
"Hey, the hard part is over, ya know, the pushing out a tiny human? There's no need to do any more breathing exercises." Shawn's sudden interruption caused Maya to jump.
"Oh...hey."
Shawn scooped up Maya's hand and sat down next to her. "What are you doing out here by yourself? You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"C'mon, Maya. I know there's something. I know you better than that. Spill it."
"It's just...You won't understand."
"Maybe not, but I'm here for you. Maybe I can be an ear. At least let me do that. I'm still your dad, ya know. That won't ever change."
"I know...thanks dad...ya see, I'm relieved I won't have to change my entire life to take care of a kid, but I hate myself for not feeling some kind of...affection...for her. I mean, I remember you saying how your world just...began...when I came along, and I'm not even your biological child. How come I can't feel that way with my actual child? My own blood?"
"Oh, don't beat yourself up. Maybe you're just not ready. You're still a child yourself. You're a teenager. No one expects you to suddenly be a grown up and start raising kids of your own."
Maya's eyes filled with tears as she looked up at her dad.
Shawn dabbed her eyes with his sleeves. "Look, I'm here for you. I always will be, no matter what happens, K? Eric and Nina will take good care of your little girl. You saw them, right? They love her to pieces, so don't worry about her. You just need to focus on recuperating and living your life as a teenager...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss your little tantrums and our petty fights...I miss you just not having a care in the world, and me picking up all the messes you got yourself into. We had it good, Maya. Sure, it was crazy at times, but it worked for us. You were the center of my world, and I think I was that for you as well. It was great. I hope one day we can make our way back to what we had. Do you think we could just turn back time?"
"I don't even know what I'll be eating for breakfast tomorrow. Dad, I'm so confused." Maya began to hyperventilate. She let her entire weight collapse on top of Shawn's legs as she poured out what emotion was left inside that had been consuming her. Shawn couldn't find any more words. His throat grew tighter as sentimental memories overloaded his brain. He let his own tears soften his face, not caring who would see.
He wanted to cherish the moment forever, to feel the shred of hope that perhaps Maya would be all his again, at least for a moment. His hand combed through Maya's tangled hair, then reached for her hand to plant a small peck on it. He felt like he was some kind of victim, like he was helpless, but it wasn't about him. He tried to regain some of his dignified composure, until the group came looking for them.
Topanga, like the mother hen she was, plopped herself on top of both Maya and Shawn. Cory followed suit and soon, the entire clan piled on. There was no room for boundaries with the kind of unbreakable bond they all shared.
