Let Your Heart Decide - MikAsa x Alyden

Of memories and boxes

Alyssa

It's 3am already. Im so tired. Nakakapagod mag-impake ng mga gamit, lalo na pag nagmamadali. Hindi naman marami ang gamit ko sa condo. Mostly ay damit lang at books and schools materials. Dahil hindi ako prepared for this lipat bahay, wala akong mga kahon o bags na paglalagyan ng gamit. Actually, wala nga akong bahay na lilipatan. So much for this lipat bahay.

Finally natapos ko ang ginagawa ko. I managed to stuff all my clothes in one luggage. Then there were two small boxes from the grocery, dun ko nilagay ang mga libro at ibang school things. Nasa backpack ko ung iba. Nasa paper bag ang 2 pairs of shoes. Upon looking at my things, inisip ko kung paano ko to dadalhin, at kung saan ko dadalhin. I already messaged Ella and Amy about my situation. Kaso puno na sila sa dorm nila. Though sabi ni Ella, try daw niya ako ipakiusap sa landlady niya even for a few days.

Hindi na rin ako nakatulog nang maayos because I have class ng 8am. Around 7am, I headed out of the unit. Isa-isa ko nilabas ang mga gamit ko. I still dont know how to bring these to campus. Hindi ko naman pwede iwan sa frontdesk, mahirap na. Baka makita pa ako ng mama ni Den. As I finally brought the last box out, I took the framed photo of Den and me. We are all smiles. It was taken during her graduation. Wearing her sablay, nagselfie kami. I took the frame and placed it in my backpack. Then I locked the door and walked to the elevator. Hindi na ako makakapasok sa condo kahit may naiwan pa ako doon.

Naalala ko yung graduation ni Den. I watched the whole ceremony from afar. Hindi naman kasi ako makalapit kasi maraming tao. But after the ceremony, I tried my best to meet Den. With one stalk of sunflower, I made my way through to see her. Finally, I saw her and hugged her. Then I gave her the flower. I hugged her tighter and kissed her on the cheeck. "Congrats, love!" Then, we took that selfie. "Denise!" I heard someone called. And I saw Den's Mama walking towards us. I met her before, pero as one of Den's friend pa. Hindi pa ako formally na-introduce ni Den sa family niya as her girlfriend. When she finally reached us, I greeted her. She just looked at me. "Ma, si Alyssa po. Remember?" Den told her. Mrs. Lazaro looked at me from head to toe and said nothing to me. She just turned to Den again and said, "Let's go. Ayaw ko matraffic. We already have the reservation." 

"Sige, Ma." Den responded. Then she said, "Aly, sama ka. May celebration lang." I smiled and nodded. "Denise, family celebration lang sana. Also, there's no space sa car," her mom said in a hush voice but still I heard it. "Ma, please? I brought the my car diba? Sunod na lang kami," Den answered back. "Fine, it's your day naman. Dont be late," her mom reminded her and left.

I looked at Den. Im happy na for her achievements. Pero aaminin ko na nasaktan ako sa nangyari. That time, I already felt na ayaw sa akin ni Mama niya. While in the car, I asked her about it. "Love, alam na ba sa inyo na tayo na." She did not respond immediately, she just kept driving. Then she spoke, "Yes, alam naman nila." I waited for more explanation about what transpired, but she kept mum. Hindi na rin ako nagsalita pa, I dont want to ruin her special day.

When we arrived at the restaurant, marami na tayo. it seems that the restaurant was exclusive for Den's party. So hindi naman pala family lang nila. But the everyone was dressed nicely. Napatingin tuloy ako sa suot ko, Jeans, black shirt, and sneakers. I felt under dressed for the event. Mukhang napansin ata ni Den ang apprehension ko, and she just took my hand and ushered me in. It felt nice. To be held by her in front of her family and friends. Nawala lahat ng apprehensions ko, for that time. But as we entered the venue, everyone congratulated her, hugged her, and took photos with her. Eventually, nabitawan ako ni Den. I slowly moved aside, and just stood there. Hindi ko alam saan table ako uupo. I just looked at Den, and saw her seated with her family. Wala na rin naman bakanteng upuan doon for me. Maybe a good few minutes passed before Den realized na wala ako sa tabi niya. I saw her as she cranes her neck to look for me, until our eyes met. I tried my best to smile genuinely. She walked towards me. "Bakit ka nakatayo jan? Halika na," she told me. "Saan ako uupo?" I asked her. I saw the exasperation on her face. But before she answers, I told her, "Dito na lang ako, sige na. You enjoy your time with your family and friends. Dito lang ako." "Are you sure? Kuha ka na ng food doon sa buffet," she instructed me and made her way back to her family. 

Nagugutom na rin naman ako, so I went to the buffet spread to get food. As I walked towards it, someone tapped on my shoulder. "Miss, can I have water please?" a lady asked me. I looked at her dumbfounded. I did not understand at first. The lady might have noticed my perplexed reaction, then she blurted, "Oh my, I'm sorry. I thought waitress ka," she said. Then I looked around and noticed that the servers wore black polo shirts. Umalis na lang yung babae. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako. 

While I was getting food, biglang may tilian. I looked for the commotion and saw a guy with a huge bouquet of well-arranged flowers. The guy headed towards Den and gave the flowers. He also gave her a peck on her cheeks. I saw how delighted Mrs. Lazaro was. She even moved her chair and instructed everyone on the table to scoot a little to have place for the guy. Magkatabi na sila ni Den. Tila nawalan ako ng gana kaya konti lang ang kinuha kong pagkain at bumalik sa table ko. I just waited for the celebration to be over.

Eventually, Den went back to me. She also explained that the guy was LA, her childhood friend and family friend. I later learned that their families hoped that they would get married. Kaya naman pala ganun na lang ang saya ni Mrs. Lazaro sa noong panahon na iyon, at kung anong inis niya tuwing makikita ako. 

Naputol ang aking pag-reminisce nang biglang magtumbahan ang mga gamit ko. Bumalik ang diwa ko sa kasalukuyan at nanlumo nang makita kong nasira ang isang box at naglaglagan ang mga libro ko. Napabuntong hininga na naman ako. I really dont know what to do.

Bumukas naman ang pinto ng 1209 at sumilip si Mika. Ngumiti siya nang makita niya ako. "I heard something kasi, ikaw pala yan. Saan naman ang punta mo?" She asked me while smiling. "School" I answered while picking the books. "School? Ganyan ba talaga ka hirap sa UP na buong library ang dala mo?" she joked. I just looked at her. Hindi ko napansin na nangingilid na pala ang luha ko. Biglang nagbago ang facial expression niya at agad akong nilapitan para tulungan. Noong nakalapit na siya ay hindi ko na napigilan maluha. Pagod, awa sa sarili, at walang kasiguraduhan ang mga emosyon na nangibabaw sa akin. 

Mika did not say anything. Tinulungan niya lang ako maayos ang gamit ko. Nang matapos na, she offered, "Wait, kunin ko lang susi ng kotse, ihahatid na kita." She did not wait for my response. She went back to her unit, took her keys and purse and helped me with my things.

"Diliman, right?" She said as she started the car's engine. I just nodded. We sat in silence. Nang makarating na sa campus, I gave the instructions papunta sa building. When we reached the destination, she told me to just leave the things in her car. "I'll pick you up later after your classes. Dito na lang muna ang mga gamit mo," sabi niya. Though hindi ko naman nakwento sa kanya ang nangyari, it seems that she understood that those things were not for school and I will not be going back to the condo. She gave her number para daw magpasundo ako mamaya. I thanked her and made my way to class.

I walked to my class with much uncertainty. I dont know what will happen to me. Hindi pa rin sumasagot si Den sa mga message ko. But one thing Im sure, Mika was heaven sent this time.