Hi //: n.h (COMPLETED)

-Chapter 21- ✔️

-Chapter 21-

It had been four days, five hours, three minutes and twenty three seconds since it happened.

That means four days, five hours, three minutes and twenty three seconds of complete and utter pain that flooded throughout my entire body, filling every millimetre of my being with a pain so hard that everything just felt numb.

The worse thing about all this is that it's only been four days, five hours, three minutes and twenty eight seconds, but I'm not even angry or upset anymore. I just feel kind of numb and trust me, it's not because I'm not sad--because I'm am-- it's just that I've cried all the tears that my body can make. Now I can't even produce any tears, so I'm just sitting here feeling numb.

I'm actually sitting on the floor, wearing a pair of Bradley's sweatpants, and one of his t-shirts. Along with his favourite jumper wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

Pathetic, I know, but what else I'm I suppose to do? I feel numb, and they smell like him.

So numb, that I can't even get my legs to move. So numb that I can't take off his clothes. So numb that all I can do is stare at my reflection in my bedroom mirror, in the dark, because I can't even get up to turn on a light or open my curtains.

Everything is a blur around me, and the only thing I can focus on is the imaginary clock inside my head. Slowly ticking, adding more seconds, more minutes, more hours, and more days to the moment where I finally lost the two things that meant everything to me.

The boy who promised me marriage and kids. The boy who told me he loved me over, and over, and over again. The boy who swore that he would never let me go...

... And then this happened...

... And he did.

And guess what? It hurts so bad that I can't feel anything, just this numb sensation filling every inch of my body.

The saddest part about all this is that I don't hate him. I actually need him more now than I've ever needed him before.

I need him next to me and I need him to wrap his arms around my still body, making me feel again. I need him to whisper loving words in my ear and I need him to kiss my lips so delicately, like they are the petals of a frail flower.

I need him to tell me that we are going to get through this. I need him to tell me that everything is going to be okay, that everything will work out. That it's not my fault.

I want him...

...But I can't have him.

I want him to hold me tight and kiss my forehead. I want him to tell me how much he loves me. I want him to say all the things he used to say and I want him to take back all the words he yelled at me.

I need him...

But that doesn't mean I can have him.

And that hurts most of all because even after all he put me through, my body still needs him and I still want him.

---

I was in the bathroom. The door was locked and I looked like a right fool sitting on the toilet, crying silently.

I've always hated crying silently. Silent crying that makes your lips start to shake as the tears build up quickly before falling fast. The one when you are bent or crouched over trying to suck it all in, not making any noise, but it hurts too much to hold it in. So, you let out a little yelp, or a cry and then comes the loss of breath. Which sucks because not only are you now crying out loud, but you think you sound dumb for not breathing, too.

It's just a mess.

I'm a mess right now.

I can't talk to anyone about this because the only person who knows why I am crying is the person who makes me cry.

Bradley is the only other person who knows about this and I think I should have told Olivia, or my sister when I had the opportunity, but of course I didn't because I'm weak. I couldn't even tell the people who care about me the most what happened even a year and a half after it happened.

"Hey! Can you hurry up? I really need to spend a penny." Someone yelled, banging on the bathroom door.

"Coming!" I yelled back.

I got up and wiped my eyes before opening the door.

The blonde girl who was dancing with Alex came in and sent me a thank you smile. She headed into a toilet cubical and I walked over to the huge sinks.

I stared at my reflection in the big mirror and tidied up my make-up. I then opened my clutch and took out all the necessary make-up tools that I needed to touch up the mess that I have created.

When I was nearly finished the girl who came in earlier came out after flushing the chain, and walked over to me where she washed her hands.

"Can I?" She asked, gesturing to my lip balm.

"Help yourself." I smiled weakly.

"Hey, you're Cora Russell, right?" She said whilst applying the clear lip balm to her pinkish lips.

"That's me." I forced a smile as I applied another coat of mascara.

"You put on a great show. I'm a huge fan of your music." She said, handing the lip balm back.

"Thanks." I smiled, putting all my make-up back in my clutch.

"I'm Emily, by the way." She smiled.

"Nice to meet you." I gently smiled, as I shook her damp hand.

"Well, I better get back to the party. The Vamps are about to play! It was really nice meeting you. Maybe you could come over for a drink later on and we could chat a bit?" She offered walking out the door, not even giving me a chance to reply.

Right. Man up, Cora.

And I sort of did; I put on a brave face and exited the bathroom, heading into the room where the DJ was announcing the Vamps.

Oh Michael what have you done?

-:-:-:-

Right....

I know these seem like filler chapters, but I swear the bits in italic are not, you really don't understand the importance of them yet... but you will do soon.

That's it from me today, so have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and I will see you next when this chapter reaches 15 reads. 6 Votes. 8 Comments.

Hope you enjoyed....

-BW

Xx

P.s: Looking for some Corley (Cora and Bradley) art so if you are interested please DM me! 

P.s.s: Merry Christmas and I hope you get everything you ask for.... Love you guys! Xx

OP: 25Dec14