The Not So Virgin [BXB]

chapter nineteen: help

C H A P T E R N I N E T E E N

"I'm sorry Jacob but we have reached our decision and decided that you will be expelled for the remainder of the semester. It's only four weeks but due to the consequences, we don't see a way for you to continuing learning with us this semester." Principal Jackson didn't look happy and neither do my dads who are sitting in front of me with looks of disappointment in their eyes.

"But prom is this weekend." I had forgotten about prom during this whole ordeal and how my confessing had just ruined prom for me.

"I'm sorry Jacob but you won't be allowed to go to prom this year." Principal Jackson then asks me to leave so he can talk to my dads and I start walking to my dad's car since Sophie took mine because dads said I wasn't allowed to drive for a long time.

The ride home was quiet and no one spoke a word not even when we were finally in the house.

"Jacob, we need to talk." My dad says as he motions for me to come until the living room.

I sit down on the couch farthest from him and frown at the look of disappointment on his face.

"Jacob, are you okay? You've never been drunk before and I don't know where this has come from," As he talks I can tell he's becoming angry. "It's like dealing with your mom all over again-" Once he says that he gasps and covers his mouth.

"I'm sorry Jacob, I didn't mean to say that." He runs over to me and tries to hug me but I push him away. I can feel myself about to say stuff I know I'm gonna regret later but I didn't care at the moment.

"No you meant it dad and you have no fucking right to talk about mom when you didn't even care about her because you were to busy fucking someone else behind her back," As the words leave my mouth the look on his face goes from sadness to pure shock.

"And no I'm not fucking drinking to be like mom, I'm drinking because I don't know what else to do. Ever since the accident, I haven't felt like myself and I don't want to do something that I'm gonna regret so yes, I've been drinking and I don't need someone who wasn't present for most of my life telling me what to do." I turn around and stomp up the stairs to my room and lock my door.

I could hear my dad downstairs crying and I knew that he would do it but I didn't care. Out of nowhere, I start crying and fall asleep.

♕♕♕

"Jacob." I wake up to someone tapping my shoulder and I look up to see Kameron standing over top of me. He looks like shit and I can tell it's pretty late because it's pitch black outside.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him and he just stares at me and then pulls me into a hug.

We hug for about five minutes before he pulls away and moves my hair out my face.

"I'm worried about you Jacob, I don't know what's going on right now but I don't like seeing you like this. Really, Drinking?" He frowns but continues to play with my hair.

"I'm sorry for worrying you and everyone but I don't know what's going on myself. I've been having a lot of mood swings and I just haven't been feeling like the old shy and quiet Jacob." I can't bring myself to look at him and he gently grabs my chin and makes me look into his eyes.

"Jacob, I care about you and I want you to get better. Maybe you should talk with your dads about getting some professional help about this stuff." He smiles at the corner of his mouth and starts to move to leave but I kiss him and he pushes me away.

"Why'd you do that? You said I needed to get help and the only help I need his you." I pout but he gets up from my bed and stands beside the balcony door.

"Jacob, I'm sorry but nothing can happen between us that kiss the other night was a drunken mistake and shouldn't have happened because I'm still with Jessica and in love with her. I'm here for you as a friend only." I can already feel the waterworks coming when the words come out of his mouth.

"Can you please leave?" He nods and I watch as he climbs down the side of the balcony. He looks at me before he walks across the yard to his house.

Once I'm back inside with the door closed I fall to the floor and start crying again. I was tired of everything and I felt like I was getting treated like I was my mom and that I was gonna break at any moment.

I didn't want to believe that I would be like my mom but when I hear my dad banging on my door and I open my eyes I can only gasp.

My room is a mess, my bed is flipped over against the wall, everything that was in my dresser was now all over the floor including the clothes from my closet. I look down at my hand to see it bleeding and I didn't know where the blood came from until I look at my mirror and there's a hole in it with blood around it.

"Jacob, please open the door." I snap out of my head to my dad's crying voice. I slowly walk to the door and open it and hug him right bursting into tears.

"Dad, I-I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry for everything dad." I sob into his shirt and he holds me tight and mumbles something I can't hear.

"Dad I-I think I need help," I tell him between my cries and I feel like I can finally breathe again for a little bit.

Maybe I did need some help because after today I didn't want that to ever happen again.