NORMAN
Thought Ninny was gonna faint. When we checked in for our flight and found out that I'd upgraded our seats.
Then we had to run a bit of a gauntlet getting to the airline lounge. Got bombarded by stunned fans, who recognised me despite the sunnies and baseball cap.
"The show is absolutely huge here, Norm. So it's no wonder. How did Fin cope with it all? Can you slow down a bit please, dear? My legs can't go as quick as yours."
"Cheeky little fecker, aren't you?" She huffed, when I replied she'd be a true asset in a real apocalypse.
Cos her lack of speed will give the rest of us a chance to escape the dead 😉
"Yep. You'll get used to it, Nin. And Skip is a real trooper, deflects most of it just by being her usual self. Some fans even forget about me. Simply want to keep chatting about themselves to her instead."
"Though she does cop a lot of crap too."
I go on to tell her about a few incidents and how my baby dealt with them.
"Well unfortunately, she's had a lot of prior experience putting up with hateful behaviour. We all have in our family....Oooof...." She slammed into the back of me when I suddenly stopped walking.
"Shit. Sorry, Ninny....I'll be right back. Just saw something I really gotta buy."
The lady running the shop must've thought it was Christmas, cos I took every single one she had in stock. Had a hard time cramming the bubble-wrapped booty into my backpack without breaking them.
"Did you cop it too, Ninny? I know there were a lot of stories floating around about Fin and the little bit they knew of her personal life. Once our marriage announcement made E-News."
"Did any Australian reporters get curious....find their way to your place as well? We should've warned you just in case, eh? I'm sorry."
I settle her into a chair in the club lounge, watching in amusement as she tried so hard to look all nonchalant. As if this is an everyday thing for her like it is for me.
"Yes you bloody well should've, dear. It did throw me for quite the loop. Was so shocked when a reporter rocked up to the house? That I just blurted out the first eejit thing that came into my head. Before slamming the door on them."
I look at her quizzically.
"Told them I was just the house sitter. That Fin's Uncle had gone to Thailand for gender reassignment. And her Aunt went as well to lend her moral support."
"Well I was watching Maury Povich when they came knocking, Norm! Give me a bloody break!" She spluttered indignantly when I started to hoot with laughter.
Ok!
That explains some of the weird fan comments on my Instagram then....bahahahahhahhha!
*
"Whaaaat?" Ninny grinned up at me sheepishly, as the flight attendant started to lay out her place setting for lunch.
She's already purloined the menu, welcome card and my little complimentary travel kit. As well as her own.
"You and Fin? It's like you're mother and daughter almost. Doesn't matter how many times we fly up the pointy end, it's always the same. She's never loses her excitement."
"You think this is a grand affair? Can't wait to see you in international first class, Nin!"
"Well it's my first ever time in business class, Norm. So let me be. She even called me Mrs Horsburgh....can you believe it? Oooow look, real dinnerware and no plastic cutlery! "
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A Convenient Wife - A Norman Reedus Fanfic Romance
FanfictionSemi-mature. Completed. There is such a thing as being too 'eligible' a bachelor and Norman is finding the price of fame a high one. He thought having a wife would give him some protection. But this is one trip down the aisle that could end up with...
