exasperated ；rensung

viii

Guilt.

He felt guilt eating him away. Renjun never realized when he became the such a toxic person and now when he did, it sure took a toll on him. Poor boy couldn't sleep all night. Remembering all the mean remarks he had either said or thought about Jisung were making his stomach churn.

"He's just a kid and i made him into a villain or something" he said to himself upon taking another turn on the bed. Honestly, he was getting sick now. Trying constantly to sleep but failing everytime. So he got up a little and sat, resting his head on the pillow. Thinking about how to ease this feeling inside him, for he knew he won't get any sleep otherwise.

"I should apologize" he said after much pondering but then started whining and rolling around, simply because saying sorry for Renjun required a LOT of effort. "It's gonna be so embarrassing. I swear that kid is enjoying all of this. I STILL HATE HIM ARGH" a bit more shuffling around and he decided to end this the next day.

"It's final. I'll say sorry to him tomorrow. It's not gonna kill you, renjun. It's just a little apology. Yeah and that's it. Just a few words. You won't die saying them, right?" he continued to encourage himself. By now he was wide awake, covers no longer upon him. Chewing on his thumb, he kept thinking of less embarrassing ways to apologise to the younger boy.

He ultimately came up with an idea after a lot of huffing. He will treat the kid to whatever he wanted and yeah then he'll say sorry to him and he'll be done then! It was a perfect plan, minimal, and without much effort he'd end this just between the two of them. No one else has to know. Especially his friends or they will just annoy the fuck out of him for the rest of his life.

He also made a mental note to practically threaten the boy to not mention this to anyone else, and also about his shorts. If he did, he would have to suffer the wrath of Huang Renjun.

After this, he went to sleep.

💛

Jisung was giddy.

He felt quite happy after coming back from Renjun's. Boy couldn't stop smiling, which obviously didn't go unnoticed by his family. They were much surprised to see the sad boy beaming like that. They liked the change, nevertheless.

Oh how could Sicheng ignore that shy smile that would occasionally adorn the young boy's features. He for sure knew there was something going on. But what was it that made him that cheerful? This question was continuously swirling around Sicheng's mind.

Every breakfast, lunch and dinner would be very stiff, as all four of them sat on the table in utter silence. It would only be their mum and dad talking about something. And everytime they would ask Jisung about 'how is college going?' or 'are you adjusting well, honey?' Jisung would always give a very terse answer.

He would make all efforts to show that he doesn't want to be there. But to see such a positive change in him really made everyone a bit more comfortable to be on the table. It felt nice for once.

Jisung felt a little hungry even though he just had dinner so he went to the kitchen to find something to eat. He took an apple (a/n: i hate apples) and munched on it, humming lightly on his way back to the room.

Startled by a voice that came from behind him, he almost dropped the apple (a/n: i wish he did). He sighed in relief when he found it was just his brother. "Ah hyung you almost scared me" now turning to the older. "What's with the hyung, huh? Why are you suddenly calling me hyung? What happened to 'ge'?" Sicheng said using their mother tongue.

"I don't know what happened to it," Jisung said in a whisper, "why don't you ask it yourself?" After some seconds of silence, Jisung suddenly confessed, "I like hyung better, okay? Just don't ask why" Sicheng laughed at his answer, finding it cute. Jisung was so freaking adorable he just couldn't help but melt then and there. "Okay okay i was just saying. Looks like you're adapting well to the Korean language."

Some more quiet minutes later

"So," Sicheng started again after seeing that silly smile again, "what's with that smile, hm? You've been smiling like that all day. Is there something I don't know?" Sicheng asked, raising his eyebrows at Jisung.

"Oh i was smiling? Haha i didn't know. I'm just happy. Nothing more" Jisung, again with his 'no more questions' tone. But Sicheng wasn't having it. He totally knew what that smile meant. So he did something....

"Jisung,ah~ Please tell hyung about it~ You can tell hyung, right~?" Or so he went full aegyo-mode on Jisung, who was very disgusted with what he had seen. Sicheng threw his pouts towards the younger and would stop only when Jisung would spill his secret *cough* crush.

Poor Jisung kept on trying to escape from this cruelty but to no avail. At last, he accepted his defeat and said, "Okay hyung I'll tell you but please LET ME GO FIRST". Upon hearing that Sicheng immediately let the boy go and went on with his cool demeanor, like nothing happened.

It was almost scary at this point.

Wriggling out of Sicheng's hold, Jisung heaved a sigh of relief. God that was close. I almost died, thinking to himself and also showing a smile to older as a sign that he's going to tell him and there's no need for a second attack.

Mr. Sicheng, who had won-won (pun intended) this argument, now asked,
"So now tell me little guy, where were you today, what happened that got you smiling like that?" Seeing Sicheng wiggling his eyebrows felt weird to Jisung. He's never seen that side of his brother. Scratch that, he's not see him much as a whole, let alone his sides.

"After college today, Lifan took me to her home-" Sicheng didn't even let Jisung finish as he gasped a little. He was definitely taking it in a different direction but young Jisung was too young to see that (a/n: lmao what)

"Well i was saying that, she took me home saying 'that all my questions will be answered, just wait'. She then dragged me all the way to her house, then took me to a room, pushed me inside and then she locked it."

Sicheng had been practically losing his mind now. With each sentence that made it's way out of the younger boy's mouth made Sicheng's eyes go wider.
Oh my! Who knew Lifan was such a...wild soul, he thought to himself.

This means Jisung and Lifan like each other? Maybe they already started dating and oh God who knows what happened at her home- there went Sicheng. He didn't even listen to what Jisung said onwards.

"-hyung? Sicheng hyung? Gege? Dong Sicheng!!" Jisung yelling his name got him out of his disheveled thoughts. "Where were you? Did you even listen to anything?" Jisung, now a bit angry at his brother. At first, he was dying to know and now he didn't even listen.

"Oh yes. I think I've heard enough" said the older, eyes wide, staring off into space. "Um I uh- I have somewhere to go, Jisung-ah. I'll talk to you later, bye" Sicheng left as quickly as he could.

Sicheng was flustered. He didn't know what to think of this. He wasn't sure about this but if Jisung and Lifan both are okay with it, he will also support both of his babies.

💛

sicheng wanted some tea and and jisung served☕

just not in the way it should've been lmao

so here's another trashy chapter. Since it's quarantine and I don't want to study even though i have my exams in like a week, i will still try to update frequently

Stay safe and protected. We can fight this ♡