exasperated ；rensung

xi

Renjun didn't know what to do next.

Accept Jisung's proposal for a date. A DATE. He didn't see the kid like that. It will be too awkward.

He was in a mental debate with himself that how should he reply Jisung and everyone else in that café who were dying to hear his response, not just any response but mostly probably a positive one.

The pressure was on and Renjun hated it when he's put under pressure.

What he felt now wasn't anger or any kind of irritation, he just felt small under everyone's gazes. Not the same Renjun who was roaring at Jisung just a moment ago. Now, he was just a little pup who seems to be yielding towards Jisung.

"o-okay," Renjun managed to say in a small voice which went unheard even by Jisung who was sitting closer to him.

"I'll go but then that's it, please." Jisung suddenly looked bewildered at Renjun. His whole demeanor changed in a span of seconds and now he said 'please'?

Thanks to Jisung's ability of not being as dense as Renjun, he got an idea that the older is bothered. His shaking hands further confirmed his notion.
He hurried and got up, taking Renjun out of the café, away from the crowd.

Taking the smaller boy to a place where there weren't many people around, he sat him down on a bench in an attempt to calm him down. Jisung, on the other hand, crouched down in front of Renjun who was now heavily breathing.

Jisung took Renjun's hands and caressed them with his thumbs. Looking up at the older with eyes laced with worry, he asked if he needed any water but he declined.

They both sat there for some time until Renjun's breathing got normal. Only then Jisung left him to get him a water bottle which the short boy chugged down immediately.

Heaving a sigh, Renjun thought about thanking Jisung. But the younger beat him to it.

"Are you better now? Do you need more water? I can get you another bottle wait-" he was abruptly stopped by Renjun's hand that weakly held his sleeve.

"Just take me home" Renjun worded out with difficulty, the after effects still lingering on him.

Jisung helped him stand up but the boy felt his knees going weak and sat on the bench with a thud. Letting out a frustrated groan, Renjun tried again.
He just wanted to go home, lie on his bed and never get up again.

Right when Renjun was about to stand for the second time, Jisung sat him down again.Renjun's frown returned. Not understanding why, he asked him but he changed his question now seeing Jisung's back

"um what are you doing?" Renjun didn't exactly know what he was doing or maybe he just didn't want to.

"Hop on, hurry!!" Jisung offered his hands behind his back for the boy to get on his back.

Any person would get right away what he was doing but Renjun had decided to keep his eyes blindfolded, especially when it comes to Jisung.

"I'm not- No! I can walk just fine, okay?!" he tried to get up and walk but after a few steps he felt he couldn't. His head was swinging. So, he went back to the bench and sat down again as his body fails to move.

This time Jisung didn't ask nor did Renjun stop him. He put Renjun's arms around his neck and hoisted him up by his thighs.

(a/n: a piggyback ride uwu)

Seeing Renjun almost having a panic attack really made him scared. He just wanted to tease him a little as the older gets angry easily and it's cute.

He didn't know it would end up like this. The last thing he'd want is to see him hurting. It's better if he's the one who's hurt and not Renjun.

That night, carrying Renjun's small figure to his house, he felt him sleeping soundly. His stable breaths fanning Jisung's neck.

But, Jisung was having a hard time stopping himself from crying. He didn't want Renjun to stir awake by them.

So, he held them in. For the longest time, he made sure he gets Renjun his precious sleep. His breakdown can wait.

💛

hello, guys

im alive

i guess

okay so tbh i don't know how a panic attack occurs bc im sure it has its stages and it can be light to severe and those who deal with them are the strongest ppl ever.

renjun had a slight one, and he recovered earlier but idk if that's supposed to happen or not. I'm not educated on this so if you think it's not right do tell me.

anyways, stay safe and get ready for some,,,

angst?