Nah, She Didn't

~ Part 16 ~ Go. Away. ~

Scared of the Dark - Lil Wayne & Ty Dolla $ign

-Lily POV-

James tells me he'll wait outside the compartment for me. I walk over to a seat, and gather papers, and jump when I notice someone staring at me.

"Go. Away," I growl, not wasting any time with him.

"Lily, you just have to listen to-" Severus said. Severus Snape.

"I don't have to do anything for you! You know why? Because we are not friends. Would you get that into your head? We are not, and will never be friends," I exclaim harshly.

"So what, you're just going to let one word ruin our friendship?"

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but I can't help it. Something inside me snaps.

"First of all-DON'T ACT LIKE IT ISN'T A BIG DEAL. It's the most offensive thing you could call me. That isn't what friends do. And SECONDLY-it wasnt just the ONE WORD! You've made so many decisions, so many mistakes that could've been avoided, so many choices!" I yell. "Severus, it wasn't just that one word. It seemed that almost everything you DID was against people like me. AGAINST US FILTHY MUDBLOODS. US HORRIBLE BLOOD TRAITORS," My voice was rising with each syllable. "US DISGUSTING HALF-BLOODS!"

"But... Lily! You're-you're different! You're... you aren't-" Severus starts.

"Oh, I'm different? HOW AM I DIFFERENT? IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE CHANCE TO KNOW THE OTHERS YOU CALL DIRTY-BLOODED, THEN YOU SHOULD'NT GET THE CHANCE TO KNOW ME!" I thunder. "GET. OUT."

"Li-"

"I said GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" I screech. His gaze hardens, and he slides open the compartment door, and sulks out without another word.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of all the emotion.

I just want to... to... to stop feeling.

It's too hard.

I feel my eyes water up. I'm ashamed to let myself cry over him, but... he's hurt me. He has left a hole in my heart that cannot be filled. No. It isn't because I miss him, it's just... what if what he said is true? I am just a filthy mudblood. Do people really think that? I didn't fit in in the wizard if world because I'm a mudblood. I don't fit in at home because I'm a freak. I just... where does that leave me? I don't fit in anywhere.

I'm sobbing by now. My tears have left my robes all soaked, and my sobs come out in choked up noises. My hair is all tangly and messed up now.

"I'm a mess. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm a filthy mudblood. I'm a freak. I'm ugly. And now I'm ugly crying," I say. I sigh in complete and utter defeat. My tears stop, but not because I'm not sad anymore. I just feel hollow inside. I say with no emotion, "Lily, why did you have to be like this? You couldn't have just been normal? If you were normal you would fit in. If you were normal, everyone would like you, instead of hating you."

~ ~ ~
NOTES: LILY NO ONE HATES YOU IT'S OKAY

-Amelia