then ~ RUEL FANFIC~

Alira's POV

*DO NOT UNDERAGE DRINK STAY SAFE BBYS*

*this and the following chapters deal with sensitive topics regarding sexual assault*

"Can you come here? My zip won't go up." I yell.

Slightly sunburnt and giddy from laughter we returned home at 5pm, skipped the whole art gallery thing we had planned and decided to go to the party.

It's at one of Ruel's friends house, and I don't think I'll know anyone there. I just know we need to get out of the house.

He comes into my room. "Where the zip?"

"At the back." I pull my hair away from it.

"It's not going up." He says, tugging on it. "I think it's stuck."

"I think this dress is too small for me."

"Maybe. What size is it?"

"It's... I don't know." I lie. My cheeks turn red.

"You could wear something different. That lacy white top and jeans? Anything."

"I don't know, just try and get  the zip up. Ready? One, two, three..." I suck in hard and it zips up fine, confirming my worry. My heart sinks as I breathe back out again and feel restricted in the tight dress.

"Is it comfy?" He asks. 

"Yes. Very."

"Alira, I-"

"It's fine. I like this dress."

"I know. I like it too. But are you comfy? Don't lie to me."

I shake my head. "I've put on weight."

"Yeah, that's normal. Just wear something else."

"You wouldn't understand."

"I obviously don't, whats wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'm getting changed. Get out."

"Woah, calm down! What's wrong? You can tell me."

"I've put on weight." I reply.

"Yeah. That's normal."

"Ruel, I used to fit this dress!"

"Well, sometimes people grow! What's wrong with that?"

"I feel fat."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not! I'm being serious. Look, even now it's on, my stomach sticks out, you can see cellulite in my thighs..."

"I think you look great. But I know the dress is too tight so you should change."

I don't respond and just stare in the mirror.

He shakes his head, brushes my hair over my shoulder from behind and unzips the dress. I feel the pressure relax.

"It was just too small. It's ok. You look... amazing. You always have."

"Of course you'd say that."

"Yeah, I would! Because that's what I think."

"But it's not, really..."

"You're beautiful."

I hold my breath and then let it all out when the silence continues. We make eye contact in the mirror and I smile a little. He smiles back.

"You really are. Never forget that, ok?"

"Ok."

"I'm going to get out now. You get changed. I don't want to see that."

"Yeah, get out, perv." I laugh.

When the door shuts I slide it off and just pull on some shorts and an oversized shirt. 

"Ready?" He says, jingling the keys when i come to the kitchen.

"Yep. Let's go."

We arrive at the house within fifteen minutes after a silent drive through the night. There's lots of cars outside 

"Stay with me. I'll introduce you to everyone."

When we enter immediately a drink is handed to me by a girl I've never seen. The noise is deafening- laughing, music, talking. I find Ruel's hand and squeeze it. "Don't let go." I mutter. He squeezes it back.

Every person we meet says hi and introduces themselves  but I lose track of names fast. 

"Alira!" Comes a voice. I see the speaker, a girl with short brown hair who looks vaguely familiar.

"Do I know-"

"It's me! Jamie! We went to primary school together, out on the farm."

"Ohh... Uh, hi!"

"I didn't know you were in Sydney?"

"Yeah. We moved here."

"And I didn't know you knew him."

Ruel, who while still holding hands with me is talking to a guy he seemingly knows, pays no attention.

"We're friends." I say bitterly.

Shes staring at our hands so I let go. He glances up but then returns to the conversation when he sees me still standing there.

"What's going on with you two?" She says quietly. "Did no one warm you?"

"Warn me what?" I ask.

"About how he's a player. A heartbreaker. A shit talker."

"No." I lie. In fact, I've heard all these rumours and more, but never paid any attention to them. It's pretty clear they're completely untrue.

"I dated Him." She states plainly. "Then he ran off with some other girl without telling me." 

I raise my eyebrows, highly doubting this story and wanting desperately to leave the conversation.

"Ruel." I say. He doesn't turn. "Ruel!"

"Yeah?"

"Im going to go get another drink."

"Ok. I'll be a minute."

"That's fine, I'll come find you after."

"I'll come." Says Jamie.

"No." I say, too bluntly. "I mean... I'm fine, I need to find someone."

She glares at me and walks away.

I make my way through the crowd and find a table near a window lined with bottles. Cruisers, vodka, beer, everything. I take a red cup and fill it with vodka. Straight vodka. I need to clear my mind.

I try to find ruel again but he's nowhere to be seen. I open a door and it's an empty, light bathroom so I go inside and lock the door. Sink to the floor and drink the clear liquid. 

Immediately my head goes foggy and I moan in regret. I sit on the floor, staring at the wall opposite, trying to stop the room from spinning.

"Ruel." I call out. No one hears.

I close my eyes and curl up on the cold tiles. The alcohol has hit my bloodstream. I hum a tune that appears in my head and the fog clears to be replaced by a kind of slow moving grogginess.

The door slams open. Maybe I didn't lock it like I thought I did. 

A guy comes in, as drunk as I am. I don't know who he is.

He closes the door then notices me. Checks over his shoulder.

That's the last thing I remember before my brain clouded over and everything went dark.