then ~ RUEL FANFIC~

Ruel's POV

I wake up late. Too late. It's 11am. I scramble out of bed into the living room. Empty. Go to Alira's room. Empty. They've already left, mum picked her up, to go get checked.

I take a deep breath and look around, feeling like I should do something.

For four hours, the shortest four hours of my life, I pace the house meaninglessly. The sun arcs into afternoon. I'm almost waiting for something to happen. The phone to ring. The door to burst open. Something miraculous, even out of the ordinary, anything to break the silence.

The crunch of gravel outside as the car pulls into the driveway makes me dizzy. Three doors open and close. Alira, coco and mum. I stand at the bench trying to look normal as they come in. None of them look particularly upset so I relax a little.

"So?" I ask quietly.

Mum shrugs. 

"Did you find out anything? Anything at all?" 

Coco turns a little bit towards Alira as if waiting for her approval to tell me, but she just blurts it out herself. "I was raped and could very possibly be pregnant but we won't know until next week."

It's as if she was waiting to say it out loud so it felt real. As soon as the words leave her mouth he bursts into tears.

My heart sinks. "Why do you have to wait till next week?"

"Well it's too early for anything to have happened yet. And her period's due next week, and one week is usually long enough for it to be... you know, for it to happen." Coco explains.

I nod and search my mind for some sort of reassurance for Alira.  Then it hits me what makes this situation so crap for everyone, is that no matter how hard we want to there's nothing we can do except just be there for her. We can't reverse what happened. No one knows how this is going to pan out. Although what happened, happened, this whole fiasco will continue until we find out. There's no definite end.

The next week  Drags by slower than ever and everyone's waiting. I wake up on Wednesday morning earlier than usual and go to the kitchen. I think everyone's asleep until I see her sitting at the kitchen bench.

"Hey." I say. "You're up early."

"Mmhm. If I get my period today we're all good. It should come today. It will."

I lean on the bench and sigh. "Alira, just say, just say it didn't..."

"No. It will. We aren't saying it won't. Ok?"

"I know, I know. But just listen, we have to be ready for whatever happens-"

"Shut up."

"I'm trying to say I'll be here for you whatever happens. Even if you do, you know, have a-"

It's kind of spontaneous. She leans forward over the bench and kisses me. I know it's only to make me stop talking. 

"I'm going for a walk." She says when she leans back. "Apparently that can help bring on a period. Physical activity. I think. Anyway, I'll see you later."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I mean, no thanks. It's all good."

"Ok. I'll see you later."

I spend the whole day in my room just thinking. Not being sad or angry. Not feeling anything much. Just playing out every possible scenario in my head. Trying to predict what will happen.

By the time she gets home it's dark but even in the dim dining room I see she's pale when she walks in.

"Everything ok? You're bleeding, right?"

She gives a small shake of the head. I bite my lip. "Isnt that normal though? Sometimes it can just be like, a day or two late, right?"

"Yeah, sometimes, I guess..."

She's preoccupied so I don't speak anymore.

Over the next few days she grows paler and quieter, her usual smiles disappear, dark bags appear under her eyes. 

On the fourth day Coco cuts the silence.

"I'm going to go get you a pregnancy test. When I get back you're taking it, no if's, no but's.  Ok?"

Alira nods. She looks like she's about to faint. Coco drives to the pharmacy and returns quickly. Hand Alira a little box.

"Go take it." She says. A little to harshly. "Please."

"It's gonna be ok. Either way." I say quietly as Alira walks to the bathroom. She doesn't respond.

She takes the test, does what she does, comes back out and sits on the couch while we wait. 

After some hesitation I go sit next to her. Lie on her shoulder. 

"I'm not going to say I promise you won't be, because I can't. But like, if you.... if you are, we can get through it. I'll help, I'll stay, I'll take you back to Darwin to be with your dad, mum will help, we all will. We're still here. Ok?"

She turns, forcing me to sit up straight, and looks at me, tears blooming in her eyes.

"You say that now but I don't want you to stay, I mean- I do, but you can't just leave everything behind now to help raise some girls kid that isn't yours, you're almost 18, youve got stuff ahead of you. Don't stay for me."

She's smiling sadly, she knows that I'm going to disagree. So I don't bother. I hug her tight. And I'm not going to leave. No matter what.

When I let go she talks again. "Ruel, please, no offense, but... even when you were just focused on your career, it wasn't easy. You weren't great at like... managing."

I shrug, she's not wrong.

"My focus right now is you. We'll be ok."

Cocos voice comes From the bathroom. "Alira? It should be ready now." 

I hold her hand and we go over. The test is on the bench facing down. 

"Now or never." Murmurs Alira. She picks it up and looks at it closely. 

"What does it say?" I ask.

"I don't know, have a look."

I look at it. Read what one line and two lines mean. See the little window.

And its two faint lines.

"Oh fuck."