then ~ RUEL FANFIC~

Ruel's POV

I lie still on my bed. I can hear people talking downstairs, laughing and drinking in the afternoon heat.

The bedroom is fairly empty yet messy and disorganised. I hate this house. I want our old home back. 

Too bad it turned to ash.

I chose Alira's bedroom when we moved into their house, and I'm sure she realised it was on purpose. I don't know why.

I've done a lot of this lately, lying silently, trying to isolate myself. Sometimes thinking, sometimes not.

My phone buzzes.  It's the nursery I called earlier. My heart skips a beat. I fumble to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Alira, my work missed a call from this number and... they said it was for me."

"Yeah, it is." I say blankly. There's a moment of silence.

"I know it's you, Ruel."

I feel myself sigh with relief. "Yeah. It is."

"Well, whats up?"

I bite my lip. "I don't know."

"I miss you." She says softly.

"I miss you too."

We both fall silent, for longer this time. But it's not an empty silence, it's  silence full of things words cant say.

"I should probably go. You must be busy." She says.

"No, don't go." I say a little too forcefully. "I mean... I have nothing on."

"Oh. You're always busy though."

"Not anymore."

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I'm taking a break. A possibly permanent one."

"Ruel, why? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't think I want to do this anymore."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

She pauses. "I think I'm going to come to Sydney."

This surprises me. "Oh. You're welcome to, to come stay. If you want."

"Yeah, of course. I'll let you know. Listen, I have to go work now, but I'll... I'll call you."

I stop myself from smiling. "Ok. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. See you."

"Bye."

It listen for the click of the call ending before I take my phone away from my ear. Then I flop back down onto the bed and close my eyes. Footsteps come up the stairs and my bedroom door slams open. I leap out of bed trying to look busy. 

"Ruel, you need to get out of this damn room." Coco hisses, closing the door behind her.

"No, I'm... cleaning."

"You've said that for the past two weeks and I can tell you right now it ain't getting any cleaner. Go to the beach, go get food, do the shopping for mum. Go do something."

"No, thanks. I'm happy here."

"Happy?" She mumbles. 

"Ok, not happy. Content. Satisfactory living. That's how I roll."

"Stop bullshitting and get off your ass."

"Who's downstairs?" I say, trying to change the subject.

"Mum and Dad's friends. I told you they were coming for lunch. They should be leaving soon."

"Ok."

"Then will you come out of your room?"

"Nope."

She swings to slap me but I duck.

"Stop being an asshole!" I mutter, hoping mum doesn't hear us arguing.

"I'm not! You're the one sitting up here being all sad! Get out!"

"I'm not sad! I told you, I am content."

"You think I believed that?"

"Well apparently not."

She pauses and shakes her head. "Why would you do this?"

"Do  what? Be content?"

"No. You're living like noone else exists. Stop being so selfish."

This makes me mad. "Get out."

"No."

"Get out, Coco!"

"I said no!"

I open the door, shove her out and close it again, clicking the lock. She spends a minute pushing on the door and knocking hard but then gives up and goes downstairs again.

Suddenly I feel something I haven't felt for multiple months now- boredom. I'm no longer satisfied by lying in bed looking at the ceiling. Funny how it changes so fast.

I have the urge to go out and do something but can't muster the motivation or a good reason why I should. So, I hop back in bed. Again.

Maybe staring at the ceiling will have to Do for a while longer.