𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

thirty - three - "ambulance bay" - thirty - three

"According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg, we plead, we offer everything we have. We offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain we fall into depression, despair. Until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance. In medical school we have a hundred classes that teach us how to fight off death and not one lesson on how to go on living."
-Meredith Grey, S6E1, "Good Mourning"

"The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. As surgeons, as scientists, we're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow. Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance."
-Meredith Grey, Lexie Grey, Mark Sloan, Alex Karev, Izzie Stevens, Derek Shepherd, Miranda Bailey, Owen Hunt, Arizona Robins, Callie Torries, Cristina Yang, Richard Webber, S6E2, "Goodbye"

"Paranoia gives you an edge in the OR. Surgeons play out worst-case scenarios in their heads. You're ready to close, you got the bleeder. You know it but there's that voice in your head asking. What if you didn't? What if the patient dies and you could have prevented it? So you check your work one more time before you close. Paranoia is a surgeon's best friend. We're all susceptible to it, the dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end, because all the worrying and the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying. Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here, just as you are."
-Meredith Grey, S6E3, "I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me"

"You people, answer your pagers. George O'Malley jumped in front of a bus today. He knew what he was doing, and he did it anyway, and he did it to save a life. So I'm not gonna allow you doctors to stand here. There are lives on the line. There are lives we can save. So if George O'Malley can jump in front of a bus, we can answer our damn pages. So let's go."

Anna walked back out onto the main floor, still in shock over the recent news, her dad and Meredith following behind her. Lexie, Webber, Cristina, Robins and Bailey all watched as Anna made her way towards Torres.

Callie was sitting down in a chair, visibly upset, shaking from the adrenaline, unable to look at anyone's face. Anna simply muttered, "I'm so sorry," before walking towards the hospital enterance.

"Will she be okay?" Meredith asked Derek, "I mean, all alone at the house?"

"She needs to go home and rest. Sitting around here, being reminded of-" Derek frowned, kissing his wife's cheek, "She needs to sleep."