𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

ninety - nine - "hospital hell at grey sloan memorial" - ninety - nine

"I've heard that when tidal waves hit, there are often people watching on shore. They see the disaster coming, see the horizon disappearing. They don't really see until it's too late. There's a lecture we take in residency that's meant to prepare us for such disasters. It's called Disaster Ethics, where future surgeons imagine what they would do when the unimaginable happens. But it's imperfect. Because while it's good to plan for the worst, you can't really know how you'll handle it until you're smack dab in the middle of it, under the wave, trying not to drown. Disaster has a tendency to melt away everything else in life. So if you want to know who you'll be in a disaster, ask yourself, "Who am I now?"."
-Meredith Grey, S17E1, "All Tomorrow's Parties"

"We surgeons have come up with a stitch for just about anything. Get a mole removed, subcutaneous suture. Snag your arm on barbed wire, loose interrupted suture. Internal bleed, silk. Slice your scalp open, well, that's gonna need staples. We obsess about making every stitch precise and strong. As proud as we surgeons are of our stitches, they aren't meant to be a permanent fix. Your body still has to do the real work. An army of cells comes in to build new tissue. And eventually, you've produced enough collagen to heal. At least that's the plan. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you shouldn't obsess about technique. Please, obsess. Because even one mistake, one slip, can cost a lot of blood."
-Meredith Grey, S17E2, "The Center Won't Hold"

"Wash your hands. Wear a mask. Stay six feet apart at all times. Work from home. Only leave the house for essential services. And at times, we even need you to isolate from the people you love. We have press pause on everything that makes us feel like we belong. Sadly, quarantine looks a lot like surgical internship. No joy if you want to survive. They say following the rules saves lives. But what happens when life suddenly changes the game entirely? What happens when you find yourself walking on totally new ground? I wish I knew."
-Meredith Grey, S17E3, "My Happy Ending"

Dr. Anna Shepherd was only four months into her internship when shit hit the fan. Outbreak of covid-19, or coronavirus, rattled the nation, causing worldwide confusion, fear, misinformation, death, lockdowns, and quarantine. Having type 1 diabetes, being an immunocompromised healthcare worker exposed to the virus was something that gave her major anxiety. It was two weeks after her first surgery assist, a textbook tonsillectomy that she scrubbed in on and spoke to Meredith about immediately after through the adrenaline rush and nerves. Her resident, Dr. Prakasam, and the chief had called her and a few nurses, a radiologist, someone from the billing department, and a sanitary worker into his office to give them the shocking news.

Her resident made it simple, "Dr. Shepherd, as someone with type 1 diabetes, we know that common illnesses, such as influenza, can be life threatening for you. And there's so much that we don't know about this virus... simply we don't know how this would affect you, others like you dealing with this disease. As you know, it's spreading rapidly, and we're taking every precaution we can, but there's so much more that is still up in the air. We'd suggest that you, and everyone else in the staff who have such conditions, think about the risks you're taking by continuing to physically work here through this pandemic. Are you really willing to risk your life working here? We're not talking about layoffs here, there's options to continue work via internet, videochat from the comfort of your own home. We can't make these decisions for you, but we'd advise you to really think about yourselves and your families."

It was all such bullshit. Of course, the second Anna gets a job in the medical field, using all the knowledge that had been drilled into her head for decades, there'd be a worldwide fucking virus that could very well cost her her life if she contracted it. It all felt like one big slap in the face. Vaccinations were years away, people were dying at the masses, and the government and it's leaders didn't give a fuck about their struggling citizens. So, while Anna struggled with making her decision, she had to self quarantine herself in a hotel after being exposed to a covid-19 positive patient at Seattle Pres.