What the fuck is wrong with me?

Twenty

Harry's Pov

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did I look like I wanted to film a fucking video right now? The answer was no.
"Come on Harry it'll be a quick vid!"
"No way." I shrugged "there's no way!"
"The fans are getting confused, if we don't upload they'll only start digging you know that right?"
"Let them dig!"
"Do you really want to risk them finding out?"
Simon was right, I really didn't want anyone else to know. I didn't even want the guys to know but everything happened so fast on that day there wasn't much I could do to stop it from being revealed. "Fine." I huffed, "what video?"
He smiled "I was thinking you could help me choose!"
The fact that he was smiling about this weirded me out, he did know that I would prefer to stay in bed right?

Simon's Pov

I actually was not expecting Harry to agree that easily which shows progress, I think. I did have a couple simple video ideas in mind but I wanted to let Harry pick because maybe if we were filming something he liked he would be happier about doing it.
"Soooo?"
He glared at me.
"Harry come on!"
"What?"
"Video ideas!"
Harry shook his head, "you pick."
"Cards against humanity?"
"Eh."
"Okay how bout a football challenge?"
"I don't want to play football."

Wow. Harry didn't want to play football, he loved football. It was like his favourite thing in the world so what the fuck?

He was sat at the other side of the kitchen counter staring off at the cupboards, probably thinking about how he would rather be anywhere but here. He wasn't crying, he wasn't frowning, he just looked sad. Like the life had been drained out of him and all I could think was, what is going on inside his head? I mean sure we all know about Harry being sad and what he's been doing but do any of us know the reason behind this all. He wasn't always like this, there must be something.

"This is stupid, I'm going upstairs."
"Harry no! Fine we won't film the video but you have got to talk to me, you've got to talk to someone."
"Not here. Not now" he stormed off upstairs and left me in the kitchen. Speechless and having thought I'd ran out of ideas, a new one popped into mind. I've got to call his mum.