What the fuck is wrong with me?

Twenty eight

Ethan's Pov

11.56pm

With Harry out the house it actually gave the rest of us perfect time to have a little meeting and talk about last night. I hated how that sounded. A meeting. Because it wasn't a meeting, it was a serious way for us to talk about the we have concerns for our friend. But what else was there to call it? A get-together? Fuck off! There's no better way to put it. At least none that I could think of.

Vik started us off "so the elephant in the room really—Simon? you and Harry..kissed?"
This caused Simon to get defensive and start shouting "you're so fucking nosey Vik!"
Tobi; the peacemaker, chimed in "hey! hey! this is meant to be about how we can help Harry out. Nothing is gonna be solved by shouting—Simon AND gossiping—Vik!"
"Okay..I'm sorry, but you did kiss him."
Simon stood up from his chair and hovered over Vik. This was probably pretty intimidating for Vik since Simon's a load taller than him and his face was pure anger. "Shut the fuck up Vik or I swear I will make you."
I pulled Simon away from Vik and sat Simon baxk down again, "for fucks sake lads!"
JJ added his two cents "Harry literally smoked meth last night and you two are concerned over a kiss? Wouldn't make a difference if it had or hadn't happened." Agreed.
Vik looked ashamed in himself, "you're right I am nosey," he glanced over at Simon "I'm sorry, it doesn't matter if you kissed or not."
Simon just nodded, clearly still annoyed but willing to let it go and continue discussing.

"So we know he got the meth from three guys, do we know if they were random or if he knew them before and met them there deliberately?"
Tobi raised a good question, one that none of us actually knew the answer to.
I thought.. "it's more likely that he met them randomly."
JJ agreed, "Especially since he left his phone behind."
Everyone else nodded. Nice to know we're seeing eye to eye on something. I vocalised my biggest concern with a worried tone, "Do you think he'll try and find them again?"
Simon sighed, "I hope not."
"I honestly thought he was smarter than this..to do..this." JJ stated, again we all agreed. There's no guarantee he won't do it again.

Josh's Pov

We were all talking for awhile, I feel like we were actually getting somewhere and coming up with some alright solutions. Until we were interrupted by the sound of the front door being opened. "Harry?" I whispered to the guys but was only met with shrugs. As quickly as the door was opened, it was slammed shut again and loud cries begun. I recognised them as Harry's. We all shared a look before dashing over the the hallway, he was slouched over while leaning his back on the door and crying into his hands. He knew we were here though he didn't look up to make sure. I wasn't sure what do other than put my hand on his shoulder and pat it, hoping it would give him some assurance. I'm not as good at reassuring people these days.

Simon's Pov

Seeing Harry weep like this was heartbreaking, some of the guys have never seen him in a state like this; only heard about it, so this must be devastating for them. Whereas I've seen him crying uncontrollably and I'm pretty sure both JJ and Ethan had too. He was probably still mad at me but that didn't matter right now, I fell to my knees next to him and held him. I held him tightly until after some time, his cries slowed and he was ready to talk.

Harry's Pov

"I'm sorry." Was all I managed to say.
I couldn't even look up I was too embarrassed, I can't believe I'd broken down like this. Why couldn't I have broken down once I'd reached my bedroom at-least? "Harry?" Simon softly whispered "You're alright and everything's okay." I wasn't mad at him anymore but he should be mad at me, how I acted was way out of line and if anything I humiliated myself telling everyone I kissed him like that. He stroked my shoulder and told me again that everything was alright. It didn't feel like it. Josh also had his hands on my other shoulder, the both of them holding me like this for so long made me feel sheltered; like I was a child who needed protection. Usually I'd hate feeling like this but in this moment I needed it. I could feel the others standing around me even though I didn't look up to check. Their presence was known, I could smell Ethan's aftershave (I'm always telling him it's way too strong) for a start. Knowing they were all here made me want to open up, properly! Because in this moment I realised, they do care. Despite how much I tell myself they don't—it's all in my head.
"I didn't go to Cal and Cals."