Torn Between Lies

Chapter Twenty Two~Elevator Confessions

Val opens the front door, revealing.....Loki!

Oh so he's the piece of shit peace offering, makes sense.

He is as restrained as anyone could be, sitting in the middle of the apartment with a dozen chains around him. "Surprise!"

Thor tosses a bottle. It bounces off of Loki's head. "Just had to be sure." says Thor "I coulda told you that," I say.

"Hello, Bruce." says Loki as he walks in "So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where are you these days?" asked Bruce.

"It varies from moment to moment."

I look around, Val's apartment is a shithole. Bottles everywhere, blood-spattered clothes in the corner, a knife in the wall, etc. "I see you've changed." says Loki, I look over at him "I see you've gotten either horny or kinky," I respond.

Loki smirks at me "Maybe I have."

Okay, he was trying to get me to lose my cool....I was working. "Sakaar and Asgard are about as far apart as any two known systems. Our best bet is a wormhole just outside the city limits. A nice clean wormhole outside the city. Refuel on Xandar and be back in Asgard in around 18 months." says Val.

Thor walks over to the window "Nope. We're going through that one." Thor points at the nightmare tornado wormhole over the ocean. "The Devil's Anus?" ask Val, I freeze "Wait, whose anus are we going through?" Bruce ask.

"For the record, I didn't know it was called that when I picked it," says Thor.

I look from it to Thor "That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge!" says Bruce. "We need another ship. That would tear mine to pieces," says Val taking a swing.

"We need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularity." starts Thor, oh he was acting smart that's cute "And has an offline power steering system." says Bruce walking over "Let not forget it has to also function without the onboard computer," I say.

"And we need one with cup holders because we're gonna die. So, drink!" shouted Val.

Thor turns to me and Bruce "What do you say? Uncharted metagalactic travel through a          volatile cosmic gateway. Talk about an adventure." The three of us high-five as Val stares at us blankly.

"We need a ship. Val?" I ask.

"There are one or two ships, absolute top-of-the-line models-"

"I don't mean to impose, but the Grandmaster has a great many ships. I may even have stolen the access codes to his security system," says Loki, oh he did do something did he?! I take a bottle from off the counter and chuck it at Loki. It smashes above his head. "Shut up!"

"And suddenly you're overcome with an urge to do the right thing," says Val.

"Heavens, no. I've run out of favor with the Grandmaster. And in exchange for codes and access to a ship I'm asking for safe passage...through the anus." says Loki with a sigh "Oh so you got codes while I got manhandled?" I ask.

"You're telling us you can get us access into the garage without setting off any alarms?" asked Thor.

"Yes, brother. I can," says Loki.

"Okay, can I just... A quick FYI, I was just talking to him just a couple of minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill any of us," says Bruce "He did try to kill me." says Val "Yes, me too. On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!" And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time." says Thor "Yeah...he seems to have a small problem with killing." I state.