Ghost of You

I'm Sorry

"Emily what are you doing here?" I ask as I stare at the blonde defender who should be in Portland right now. "I...I needed to see you. You left before I could say goodbye" she says softly.

I sigh as I shift my bag onto my shoulder and walk to my car behind her. She watches quietly as I put the bag into the boot and get in the drivers seat. I chuckle when I see Emily still standing outside the car not entirely sure what to do. I roll down the window and grin at her, "You getting in or what?"

Her eyes light up as her face adopts her childlike grin that I love so much. She hops in the passenger seat while I pull out of the car park and start the drive to my apartment near by. The drive is short as it's only a few minutes from the training grounds. The drive was quiet the only sound was the radio playing in the background.

We were about 5 minutes into the drive when I could see Emily's hand creep towards mine but hesitates and sighs before leaning on her arm staring out her window. I smile as I bring my hand to hers which causes her to look at me and smiles intertwining our fingers. The rest of the drive is still enveloped in silence but I smile as Emily rubs her thumb over the back of my knuckles like she use to.

I pull up to my temporary home and lead her inside. "Uh do you want anything?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen. "Uh no thank you" she mumbles as I drop my bag by the door. I grab a bottle of water for me as I look at Emily who just looks around the room not saying anything. I sigh, "What are you doing here Em?"

She plays with her fingers, "It's just...you left before I could talk to you". She looks up at me now as she looks on the verge of tears, "I just missed you at the airport and I couldn't just let you walk away again. I made that mistake once already and I regretted it everyday. I wasn't about to do that again".

"Sorry I got a call and had to come back early and I couldn't say goodbye" I apologize. "I-I tried to catch you at the airport. You had just passed through the gate when I ran up and they wouldn't let me through" Emily stutters. "I'm sorry" I whisper before we're enveloped in silence once more.

I sigh, "What are you really here for Emily? You should be back training with the thorns right now". She sighs as well as wipes her hands down her face, "We never got to talk about us at camp and everything I tried something came up!" "You make it pretty clear that you wanted me gone back in Portland" I snap.

Emily's face drops again as I can see her physically wince at my remark, "I'm sorry. I never should have acted like that. I never should have said any of it. I never should have pushed you away. I..I just...".

"You just what Emily? You questioned whether I loved you or not. We've been together for years! I have loved you since we were kids! When my whole world was falling around me, you were the only one who who was always there for me. You knew how important playing with Arsenal was for me. It's been my dream since we were kids. So what was so bad that you thought you decided to question if I loved you and treat me like you did?" I snap releasing everything I have pent up since that night.

"I was scared to lose you!" She blurted out. It's like everything stopped. Neither of us said anything else, we barely even moved. She stood rooted to the spot looking to see how I react. "What?" I breath out after a minute trying to wrap my head around what she just said.

It was weird seeing Emily like this. The usual loud outgoing hyperactive defender was now standing shyly in front of me awkwardly playing with her fingers not knowing what to say. It wasn't often Emily was like this as she was always comfortable with herself and now she clearly wasn't, "You were about to travel hundreds of miles away to go to one of the biggest European clubs alongside amazing athletes". My face scrunches up, "So what does that have to do with anything?"

She sighs as she runs a hand through her hair, "I mean look at you. Your one of the best players in the world. And you would have to be blind to not see how beautiful you are. What if you realised that you liked it better over here? What if you found someone better than me?"

I could feel my mouth drop open at her confession. I slowly make my way towards her the only noise in the room was my quiet footsteps. I gently reach up and cup her face as I carefully wipe the tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" she sniffles out as she leans into my touch. "It's okay. I wish you would have just talked to me instead of us blowing up at each other" I whisper as my thumb traces her cheek.

"Now you listen here Emily Ann Sonnett, there is nobody and I mean nobody I rather be with than you. You knew me when I was a small tiny shy kid who barely knew how to talk to people. You were the one who took me in when I was kicked out of my house. And you were the one by my side for every panic attack and every struggle. You are irreplaceable and they will never be another person I love more than you. You are the love of my life and my home will always be with you".

I can see Emily's eyes to water again as she leans her forehead against mine, "I love you so much T. So much". I smile up at her, "I love you too Em". My arms slide around her neck as I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss her. She pulls me closer as she returns the gesture. Our lips move together in perfect tandem as I can taste her salty tears on her lips. She kisses me hard almost desperate to bring me closer. When we break apart we're both breathless as I can feel her breath fan against my face due to our close proximity.

"So a-are we okay?" She stutters her thumbs slipping under my shirt and tracing circles along my skin. "I'd say we're great" I peck her lips quickly. She lets out a sigh of relief and I can feel her shoulders relax more. "Next time though talk to me instead of shouting at me okay?" I grin raising an eyebrow at her. She chuckles and nods, "Trust me I learned my lesson. I will never let this happen again. I've been miserable since the moment you left".

"You could say the same for me. How are you staying?" I ask. "I have a few days before I have to head back" she answers. "Well I going to make every moment count. Now cmon I miss your cuddles" I smile as I drag her to towards my bedroom. When we reach my room my shove her onto my bed. "Hey!" She laughs but I just smile and climb on top of her and latch onto her and snuggle into her. She laughs as she wraps her arms around me and kisses the top of my head, "God I love you". I turn and kiss the underside of her jaw before settling back into her side, "I love you too Emily Sonnett. Now and forever".