DREAMING || YOONMIN [COMPLETE]

9: Optimistic Sunshine

Jimin lay on the couch, curled up into a ball. Tears spilled over his eyelids, drenching the pillow beneath his chin. He regretted letting Jeongguk leave with every part of his being, especially his heart. Nothing could come close to the feeling of his empty apartment, the cold that came with the emptiness of being alone and upset. 

Every now and then, the lights flickered off and on, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and turn them off. They remained there in the background, in a loop for what felt like forever.

It reminded him of himself. Every now and then, he would experience breaks where he didn't seem to feel anything for Jeongguk anymore. This was definitely not one of those breaks, as he thought, since the boy unknowingly and single-handedly tore a chunk of his heart off, taking it with him.

He didn't know why those breaks happened, they just did. With the realization of how much Jimin didn't know, he began to start to hate all of the things in his life that didn't make sense, like the things that he didn't understand. He just didn't understand why these things had to happen to him. 

Why did it have to be Jimin, of all people? He had enough to deal with as it was.

He didn't know what took over his mind, so suddenly causing him to break. Another crack in his heart could surely be heard from the other side of the world, the stark silence contrasting with his loud, choked sobs that wracked his body uncontrollably. He was uncomfortable and sad as he shivered and more tears fell onto the pillows.

Jimin wasn't the prettiest crier.

His breathing almost stopped behind the pillow when he tried to muffle his cries. He bit on the pillow with all the strength he had, struggling to help himself calm down lest he start wailing again; it didn't help and he ended up choking. After wriggling around and trying to hit his head with a hand to knock any thoughts of why things were happening to him out of his head, he fell onto the floor and laid there for a while.

For some time, he debated going to Taehyung's house to try and resolve things, but then decided it wouldn't work. It wasn't worth it to travel all that way just to be rejected. That would only make it worse, trying to walk all of that distance only to have to walk back again, looking like a complete wreck. 

And even worse, he would make them both feel uncomfortable, their eldest in the trio both looking and feeling like an eternal wreck and appearing on the front doorstep, asking for forgiveness. 

Besides, Taehyung and Jeongguk were always better off together, weren't they? What if Jeongguk decided he liked Taehyung better? Would he leave? What if they ran off together? But Jeongguk wouldn't do that, would he?

Jimin was beginning to doubt himself and his mind, eventually settling on the thought that, finally, he was delusional. It wasn't a surprise, it was just a matter of time until he'd finally lost it. And now here he was, crying because of something that he believed that he had no right to feel such sadness for. 

He held his legs in, rocking himself back and forth.

Half of him expected Jeongguk to come back a few days later, the other half expected him to run away with Taehyung and never return. Judging by the fact that the latter seemed more likely to Jimin at that moment, he was not in his right mind. 

The dramatic overthinking caught him off guard, and suddenly, he was on his way to tell Hoseok the news. There, in his room, he found his phone and dialed the boy. His hands shook with his

Of course, there was a sunshine emoticon next to his name. He was the human embodiment—if there ever was one—of sunlight. 

The boy was about as optimistic as anyone could get. Speaking of which, Jimin needed a reason to be optimistic right now. Or even just optimism to cheer him up after he'd fucked another thing up.