Samaniego Side Story 3: Missed Miss Missy

Missed 14

in my heart~

Swinging in the backyard
Pull up in your fast car
Whistling my name

Napatitig ako sa kisame ng kwarto ko habang pinakikinggan ang kanta ni Lana del Rey na video games. I'm not actually familiar with the song but it played on my playlist so maybe, once in my life, I listened to it and loved it. Ganun lang naman kasimple iyon

Open up a beer
And you say, "Get over here
And play a video game."

I'm in his favorite sun dress
Watching me get undressed
Take that body downtown

I say, "You the bestest."
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite perfume on

Go play a video game

I let out a deep sigh. Bakit ba ang hirap mag-move on? Bakit mahirap humakbang pasulong e yun na lang naman ang magagawa ko? Shouldn't I be doing what I need to do? Kung sana ganun lang kadali yun. Kung sana pwede ko lang isantabi lahat ng nangyari.

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you wanna do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Baby, now you do

It has been months. Ilang buwan na ang nakalipas pero heto ako. Nakamukmok sa kwarto at naghihintay ng pagbabago. I know that I shouldn't be feeling this way. Sabi nga sa kanta "It's you, it's all for you, everything I do". Para sa kanya naman kasi talaga ang ginagawa ko eh. I hurt him because I know it was the best thing to do that time. Para hindi na siya tuluyang bumagsak kasama ko... kasi ako? Tanggap ko na. I've already drowned and I can no longer resurfaced because I want to stay drowning. Kasi ang pagkakalunod lang sa pagmamahal na 'to ang tanging bumubuo sa akin.. So even though it hurts, it's fine... because this keeps me going.

Nang matapos ang kanta ay nagpasya akong lumabas na lang ng kwarto at kumain. I'm hungry and it's already 10 in the evening. Ganito naman palagi, e. Matutulog ako ng late at gigising ng late din. Gugutumin pero hindi kakain. And no. I'm not trying to kill myself.

I opened my laptop when I got to the kitchen. Kagabi ay naka-receive ako ng text galing kay Siara at sinabi niyang may sinend raw siyang email sa akin at ngayon ko pa lang titingnan. Siara is Ashton's girlfriend-- fiancé na pala. They alreay have a cute pair of twin boys named Ashian and Ashan. I saw them in Sia's facebook post last time when I logged in into my account kase.

I cooked garlic fried rice, hotdog and sunny side up egg. Parang agahan lang pero hapunan lo na 'to. While eating, I checked my emails and looked for the one Sia sent me. My eyes widened when I saw that it was an invitation card for her and Ashton's wedding. Agad ko siyang tinext atsaka kinunggratulate dahil ikakasal na sila sa wakas. I've heard from Vairel that they had rough months few months back because of a girl who was bitching around Ashton. Naglayas pala si Sia habang buntis. Good thing they're good now. And I am so excited for their wedding!!!

Nang matapos akong kumain ay nagpasya akong matulog na. Wala naman kasi akong ibang ginagawa maliban sa i-stalk ang mga Samaniego. Well, I've been stalking them for the past few months because I don't want to die out of boredom. Mabuti na ring sila amg i-stalk ko kaysa maisipan kong i-search sa kahit saang social media platform ang mga alaga ko-- ex alaga pala.

KINABUKASAN, himalang maaga akong nagising. Kaya naman ay nagpasya akong magli-aliw na lang. I went to a near mall to shop. Pero wala naman akong nagustuhan para sa sarili ko, so instead.. namili na lang ako ng maaaring ipasalubong pagbalik ko sa Pilipinas. I also bore in mind that I need to buy a wedding gift for Sia and Ashton.