FALL (DIMENSION Series #1)

CHAPTER 27

Derek was next to me and the evening breeze was stirring between us. Every time I glanced up at the sky, there seemed to be more stars. The night seemed to be spilling forth millions of them. Twirling and glittering stars that looked like diamonds against black velvet.

      "You're not saying much," Derek said. And I tore my eyes away from the sky and looked into his eyes. Going from diamonds in the sky to gleaming specks of gold in his eyes.

     And it was true. I was almost entirely dumbstruck. It was too much for me. His presence and the stars and his jewel-like eyes. And the text he had sent me earlier. It was overwhelming. It felt like a train of happiness had come crashing into my world. And I was on it now and it was moving very fast. Things were happening at such a high speed that I could barely register them. They seemed to all blur together and the only thing I could be sure of was that I was happy. Very happy. I was ecstatic. And I couldn't really think straight.

      Derek was here. Next to me. It was surreal. I had thought about him for so many hours and days and weeks. I had analyzed him so deeply and been obsessed with him so continuously that he seemed to live inside me. He had hijacked my feelings and held them hostage. And I had surrendered many of my thoughts to him. I was used to him existing in my mind. But I wasn't used to him being here. In my actual life. As he was earlier in the day, when he'd been in my car and walking next to me as we'd made our way along the river. And as he was under this tree with me now.

      My dreams were coming true and that was wonderful, but I wasn't quite able to make the leap. From the boy in my mind to the boy sitting under the tree with me.

      He seemed to sense my discomfort.

      "Did you get my text?" he asked, and I could see curiosity in his eyes.

      "I did," I replied, and smiled at him. "And I was happy to get it."

      "So, you see, no smoke signals needed," he replied and his smiled deepened.

      That's a relief," I replied. "I'll text you back," I said. And I was still smiling too. My mouth seemingly unable to do anything else.

      But that wasn't entirely true. My mouth was probably capable of other things as well. Some part of me wanted him to kiss me. Right now. It seemed the perfect moment. The night had a breeze. And the stars had come out in all their glory. And we were alone in the darkness that had created a kind of intimacy. I looked at his lips. They were full and perfectly shaped. And I was sure they'd be soft on mine. I didn't think I'd ever wanted anything as much as I wanted Derek's kiss right then.

      But he didn't kiss me. He just continued looking at me.

      "You're interesting," he said.

      It was the second time he'd called me interesting, and it was definitely a compliment. And something that made me feel a little flash of warmness in my insides. But I wondered if that was all it was. If I was just an interesting person and not really interesting to him as a girl. What if I wasn't pretty enough? I wasn't a tall blonde like Veronica McCall. And I wasn't a vivacious pixie like Isabelle Bree.

      I suddenly felt upset. And for some reason I could feel heat rushing up into my face as well. I hoped it was too dark for him to notice.

      Could it be that the connection he felt with me was more of an intellectual thing? Or maybe even an emotional thing? But not a physical attraction kind of thing? He had said that he and I circled in the same sky. And I had taken that to have a romantic meaning. That it had been about him and me. Boy and girl. Together in some way. In a decidedly unconventional way, but still, in a romantic thing. But what if it had been something else? What if my infatuation wasn't something he felt? What if what I felt was unrequited love? That was an unbearable thought. So devastating that I had to close my eyes for a few seconds.

      "I'm an absolute beginner," I blurted out as I looked over at him. I was horrified as soon as the sentence was spoken. It was so unexpected and so unrelated to anything we had said before that it seemed to hang between the two of us. Like an instant barrier. A kind of wall.

      But he didn't seem to be as horrified as I was.

      "You are?" he asked, and his voice was soft. "In what way?"

      "In this way," I said and motioned the space between him and me. And then I felt even more embarrassed. Not only was I noticeably inexperienced, but now I was going to make him even more aware of it. I seemed intent on pointing out my shortcomings.

      I was flushing even more now. I wanted to say more, but I couldn't speak.

     "You mean you're a beginner at hanging out with me?" he asked. His face was serious and imploring, and his eyes remained bright and encouraging. He was definitely present in this moment with me right now.

      "Something like that," I mumbled and pushed my hair behind my ear.

      "Well, I'm new to this situation too," he said. And it was his turn to motion the space between us. "So, I guess we're both absolute beginners in this thing."

      "This thing?" I stammered. I wasn't sure what he meant. And I had to be sure.

      "This thing between us," he said. And my heart skipped a beat. So, there was a thing between us. It hadn't just been in my own mind. That was good news. So good that it made me feel dizzy. I leaned back against the tree.

      "You're not an absolute beginner," I said. And images of Veronica McCall surged into my mind. And of course Isabelle Bree was there too. Again I pictured her slender fingers encircling Derek's wrist.

      "You'd be surprised," he said and sighed. "Things aren't always as they appear."

      "You have admirers," I said. It seemed I was on a mission to expose my insecurities and fears to him. I was on a roll, unable to stop. "You have girls who hang onto your every word."

      "Most of those girls don't know me at all," he said, and his eyes darkened.

      My heart sank. It couldn't be happening again. He couldn't be leaving me now. Not as he'd done in the past. Not at this moment. I needed him to be here right now. We had things to discuss.

      I needed to find a way to make him stay. But how?

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NEXT NEW CHAPTER—TUESDAY, MARCH 31

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