FALL (DIMENSION Series #1)

CHAPTER 40

I stared at Derek and Isabelle as they walked away. Intensely aware of her arm looped through his. And there was more to the scene in front of me: she was leaning into him, her pretty face turned up to his. They were talking in an intimate way. It wasn't an image I wanted to remember, but I knew I had to. The image would help me later on. When my feelings of love for Derek would return and overwhelm me. When I'd feel my insides go all gooey with admiration and adoration for him and I'd feel hope perched in my soul—I'd conjure up this image. And reality would set in for me.

     I felt someone touch my elbow. It was Charlie. He looked at me with his eyes that were shaped just like Derek's eyes. Unlike Derek's eyes, his were only one shade of green, but with the same expressiveness as Derek's. And right now I read concern in them.

     "He's a complex person," Charlie said, and I could tell that he felt sorry for me.

     I stood up straighter and tried to overcome whatever look must have been on my face. I tried to smile, but it came out only halfway.

     "I know," I mumbled at Charlie. I felt kindness emanating from him and I was grateful for it. No wonder Derek was close to his uncle. It was clear that Charlie was a mensch, alcoholic or not.

     "Where does he go when he leaves here?" I whispered.

     Charlie shrugged and held my gaze. I thought he might be trying to gauge how much I already knew.

     "I know he's not normal," I said softly. "I mean, I know he's not a regular guy."

     I was hoping to use this moment to gain something from this terrible episode that had just gone down in my life. This day had irrevocably changed things, but I was still hoping to learn some things from it. Although I had sensed Derek moving on—and moving away from me—I knew my obsession would remain. And I needed to know why Derek was the way he was and where he went whenever he left.

     "I guess he leaves this realm," I ventured as I gestured the expanse of what was around us. The trees and the road we were standing on and the houses in the distance. The things that generally made up the physical world as we knew it. I wasn't being deliberately vague. Realm was the only word I could think of that captured where we seemed to live. Where Derek seemed to dwell when he was here. I wanted to know about the place he went to when he wasn't here. The other side as I'd come to think of it.

     "Something like that," Charlie said and I saw curiosity in his eyes. He was clearly wondering how much Derek had shared with me.

     "Does this have something to do with the multiverse?" I asked. "Or with a different dimension?"

     Charlie's brows lifted. He was definitely intrigued now.

     "You know about the multiverse?" he asked. And he had that same sense of wonder that Derek had had when we'd spoken of it.

     I shrugged.

     "My dad's a physicist as well," I said. "Bob Archer," I added.

     "Ah, you're Bob's daughter," Charlie said and I heard approval in his voice. It was clear that he liked my dad, as most people did.

     "So where does Derek go?" I pressed on.

     "His story isn't mine to tell," Charlie said and he looked at me with even more concern. "I'm sure he'll talk to you about it soon."

     "Does Isabelle know his story?" I asked and I heard the edge in my voice.

     Charlie nodded slowly and I nodded in return. I didn't trust myself to speak. I knew my voice would betray me. It would be shaking with rage or disappointment or a mix of the two.

     "Later," I said to Charlie and turned away from him.

     I started walking in the direction of my house, which wasn't far from where we'd been standing. I could sense Charlie watching me but I knew he wouldn't ask me more questions. He was an intuitive person and he could see that I'd had enough for one day.

     I didn't enter our house. I didn't think I could deal with the familiarity of things. The black-and-white tiles in the kitchen. The green sectional in the living room that would have the early afternoon light filtering onto it. The state of our house implied a certain normalcy in the world. A certain consistency. And I knew now that it was fake. The surface of things was a lie. It was a façade because behind it nothing was consistent and nothing truly stayed the same. The entire world had just changed. Derek had walked off with Isabelle and I had no idea when I'd see him again. If he'd actually be living here in Bluffside. And if he even wanted to see me again.

     I got into my car, tossed my backpack on the seat beside me. Driving in silence, I took off for Crosby's record store, which was simply called Crosby's. It was more than just a record store. It was a place where people came to listen to music while sitting on old velvety sofas under soft lighting. They came to look for rare vinyl finds. And they came to be with Crosby and to talk about life in general. It was one of my favorite places in the world.

     "You're early," Crosby announced as I walked in. I was thankful that nobody else was around. I needed some time to settle into things.

     I nodded and shrugged and he didn't ask me more about it. I thought he assumed I'd had a rough day at school.

     "Your pick," he said as the song he'd been listening to ended.

     I didn't have to think about it. I went straight for Blue by Joni Mitchell. I wanted something that captured the complexity of the human condition. Something that reflected the despair that sometimes invaded the air we breathed before settling into our bones. And it also had to be something that I'd listened to with him.

     Crosby understood right away. He followed up my selection with more laments about life and other sad songs about love. We didn't say anything else. Crosby knew a secret language, he knew how to speak with lines from songs. He lived his life alongside lyrics. It was one of the many things that made him cool.

     I didn't do much work, mostly I just sat behind the wooden counter in a spaced-out state. At some point Crosby left the store and returned with a couple of burgers. One for each of us. I didn't think I was hungry, but it felt good to eat something.

     "Thank you," I said to Crosby and felt deeply appreciative. For the food and the company and the space he'd given me. The generosity of it all touched me and brought tears to my eyes.

     "Are you all right?" he asked me.

     I shook my head.

     "But I will be," I said and bit down on my lip. 

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