FALL (DIMENSION Series #1)

CHAPTER 17

I glanced at my phone. More texts from Neal and Nisha and others. But still nothing from him.

      My heart sank down further, and I had to remind myself that I hadn't known that this boy existed until a few weeks ago. And that I hadn't actually had a real conversation with him until a couple of days ago. But I wasn't able to convince myself to be more logical when it came to my feelings about Derek. I felt for him what I felt for him. It was something that consumed me. It raged inside me and didn't allow me to be at peace.

     It was slowly dawning on me that the situation might be irreversible. And it seemed it wouldn't change even if I had no contact with him. I had felt something every time I'd spoken to him. Especially this last time in my room. A connection. Or the beginning of a connection. Maybe because it had felt like I had always known him?

      It was true that Derek was beautiful. With a gorgeous face and perfectly proportioned limbs. And jewel-like eyes. But since the start it had been about more than just his appearance. It had been about his presence. The way in which he took up space. How he seemed at ease in his own skin, like he was perfectly comfortable being by himself. Like he had retained his essence in spite of his move away from his hometown. In spite of being new in our town and new at school. Like his personality had been set a long time ago and it wasn't subject to the influence of fads and passing trends. I got the sense that he could be comfortable no matter what city or school he ended up at. He seemed to be able to take life as it came.

      And he seemed as content when he was by himself as when he was with other people. Or at least that had been my perception before I had seen the change in his eyes. The way in which they had sometimes gone vacant. What had that been about? I wondered again. After talking to him in my room, I couldn't believe that he had Asperger's. But did he have some kind of mental affliction that didn't allow him to reveal himself to others? Did something in his psyche cause him to bail the moment someone got too close to him? Or looked too deeply into his eyes?

      I couldn't bear for that to be the case. Because I really wanted to know him. I wanted to know the details of his life. I wanted to know where he grew up and when he learned to ride a bike. And his favorite foods and the books and movies he liked now. And the music of course. The songs he listened to repeatedly. The ones he knew well enough to say their lyrics out loud.

      "I think I'm losing it," I whispered to Estella and I placed my hand on her warm little body. She started purring and that was a comfort.

     I looked away from Estella and back at my phone. I had to call Neal, to find out more about Charlie Nash.

      "Hey Neal," I said.

     "Hey Ellie," he replied. How are you?"

     "Better," I said. "I'm sorry that you couldn't come over today." Both Neal and Nisha had texted about coming over and I'd replied to neither one.

      "No worries," Neal replied. "Your mother called to say you were resting." There was a pause and a slight sigh as if he had to work up to his next sentence. And then it came.

      "I saw Derek Nash walking in your yard earlier today," he said, and I heard the curiosity in his voice.

      "Yeah," I responded. Thinking about how to best phrase my questions about Charlie Nash and Derek's place in his life. "He came to talk to my dad about his uncle—Charlie Nash." I took a breath. "He came to talk about a job for Charlie Nash. Do you know Charlie?"

      "I've never met Charlie Nash," Neal replied. "But I know of him." And he sounded even more curious than before.

      "What do you know about him?" I asked.