Ever recieved a compliment that 'You're a good person'? I did.. infact, recently only. It forced me to ponder over the mystery: what is a good person to them? Then I couldn't help but think: what is a good person to me?
Good person? Really? Wasn't I worthless!? Always felt like one.. but people praise me & say that I'm genuinely a good person who makes this world a better place by existing. I feel weird, very weird. I'm filled with self doubts.. they engulf me everyday. My thoughts will eat me alive one day. I hate how I can't see my worth. I hate that my existence is a question to me. I hate that it's taking away the sanity in me everytime.
I'm often lost in the abyss of thoughts, wondering what good they all can see, because frankly I feel like I just fake my goodness. I just don't want to be hated or not liked, or maybe not appear rude or make others feel less of themselves because I know how 'feeling worthless' feels like. It's my constant state. It's miserable. So I try to make them feel special.
But, wait.. wasn't caring about someone's feelings, making them feel good, not being rude & being genuinely concerned about other person's worth & feelings is all what makes a person good? If someone does this for me, I'm overwhelmed. Always. And if I always do it myself, am I actually a good person!? Wow..
But, am I allowed to take this compliment & accept it with pride? Or thinking I'm good will make me less of a good guy?~
Sign of a good person: They are oblivious to their own good...thinking if they validate it, it may reduce their goodness. And if you're one such kind... your existence is a gift to this world, worthy of celebrations itself~
YOU ARE READING
Amidst Darkness
PoetryAmidst my Darkness.. I write & find solace!~ (I may post here or I may post on my insta acc @howls.of_soul. Please check out if you can. TIA~ ^-^)
