Amidst Darkness

Priority

I was never their priority. I always wondered how the feeling of being so important to one person felt like? Them being so afraid to lose you that they beg and apologise even for the things they didn't do wrong. How overwhelming would it be to always be their first and last choice? Their world revolving just around you.
But, the truth is I am the one on the other side, making other's feel important, prioritizing them always without regrets. Always afraid of losing them, to a point that I started putting my own self in the last & lost myself without realising it's too late now.
I was never their priority, not even their favourite.
And I'm not even complaining cause maybe I was meant to be the person who makes others feel special, even if it means being alone and miserable.
And why should I even complain to them, when I wasn't even the first priority of my own self? I feel so alone & left out between my favourite people, the people I prioritize because they don't know about my dark side. How each day I fight a battle within me to make myself my own priority. But when I'm not even my own priority, how can I be their's?
But seems like they all are in an illusion that I'm happy and maybe I seem too good to them that they don't feel like I need to be taken care of, I need to be felt special too, I want to be prioritized too. And I wish they notice it soon, without me telling them, figuring it out on their own. For once maybe? Just once...