Amidst Darkness

When the wind blows by~

And there are times when I lie down staring blankly into nothingness as seconds pass by, wondering is it too late to mend myself back again? Is it too late to pick myself up again? I must be broken in infinite different pieces to feel such a terrible pain radiating from within. And you know whats most saddening thing ever? It is that everytime I broke a piece of me, it was taken up by the person who shattered me & left my life, leaving me hollow, making me miserable, making me such a pitiful attention craving beast I've turned into. Self loathe has taken over my soul & now I hate myself for even trying to pretend I'm okay, cause in reality I'm tired & sick of this. For this one time I wish to be true; I wish to confront it with the person standing in front of the mirror that she's shattered & alone & doesn't needs to pretend she is okay if its hard for her. She can be raw and real & people will still love her, without taking her as a burden. There are people who love her unconditionally, despite anything, without any reason. But, all this has taken alot of my energy, that now I'm so tired to deal with it. So, here I am lying down again, staring into nothingness, when a few tears roll down my glistening eyes & they get dried up when the silent wind blows by~