Avengers Stories //Oneshots//

Who's Who?

Tony doesn't know how he got himself into this situation. For all his brain power, he does not know.

Oh, wait, yes he does.

Clinton Francis Barton got him into this.

The jerk somehow dragged him to a mall. A mall. Of all the places they could decide to go; it had to be a mall. Don't get him wrong, he liked shopping, but only for cool things. Like parts of a flame thrower. He wants to make a flame thrower, sue him.

Actually, don't. He did not wish Pepper's wrath on his worst enemies.

That's a lie. He totally does. It might be a little sadistic, but watching some of his greatest enemies cower in fear of the strawberry blonde woman who took no crap from anyone, not even him, was exhilarating and hilarious. Most wouldn't even make a peep as she gave them a verbal beating with words before unleashing their army of lawyers for every bit of damage done to him, the city, the Avengers, or the company. Those that did were verbally stepped on.

At this point, SHIELD usually just handed off most the evil villains for her to take care of.

He was proud to call her his girlfriend.

But he's getting off track, curse his amazing, big, five hundred thought train carrying brain. During his inner ramblings, the bright clothed, burly, overly peppy man at the microphone was getting closer to the number taped to his chest with Clint's little note of nearly unreadable chicken scratch glaring at him from the corner of the paper, reading: go get em, tiger!

There was nothing really to "go get" besides the medal when he won first place for his own lookalike contest.

Yep, that's what Clint dragged him into, the jerk.

While he made it seem like it, Tony wasn't exactly confident in a lot of things he did. In battle, his gut led him along with his top notch brain. He created his own statistics in his mind, calculating the most strength the enemy could possibly be harboring and how fast those giant rocks are coming toward him.

It's always giant rocks. Why did every villain think he could be taken out with giant rocks of something? Do they realize how powerful his repulsers are?

In other aspects, his confidence wasn't all that it seemed. Half the time, he was putting on a show and hoping he did it right. Which he usually did and anything he got wrong would usually be glossed over.

"Thirty-eight!"

They were getting closer to his number of forty, which was coincidentally his age. Not that he'd tell anyone that personally. Just Google his Wikepedia page.

Coming back to his original line of thought, Tony tapped the bluetooth piece in his ear. Especially made and customized by he himself. "J, what's the statistics of me winning?" He murmured at a low enough tone so that the person in front of him couldn't hear, even taking a step back into the wide empty space behind him. He and the contestant in front of him were hidden by a hastily set up curtain that blocked off a full hall of the mall.

He doubted the boss of this place wanted that, and they'll probably figure that out eventually.

"I am unable to confirm or deny if you will win, Sir, some of the costumes are quite realistic," Jarvis said, not at all hiding his amusement at the situation Tony had gotten himself into.

"I'm offended," he scoffed, but then turned slightly when he saw the contestant in front of him look back with a disgruntled and confused look. Tony pointed to the earbud in his ear as an explanation and the man nodded, turning back. It was only during their brief interaction that he noticed the man had a fake goatee that almost qualified as a beard, a purple blazer, and black jeans.