Spider-man: Alone in New York

~ Chapter 39 ~

Heyyyyy,

I would like to apologize in advance. I don't plan these cliffhangers! I swear, they just happen! I'm pretty sure this cliffhanger is one of the worst ones I have written, so good luck with this one guys. 

Enjoy,

Breezebane

"Peter, I-" Her eyes broke away from me and looked out of the window that gave us a beautiful view of New York City. After a moment, she looked back at me, having recollected her thoughts. "I'm so, so, so sorry. You didn't deserve any of it."

At first, I wanted to forgive her quickly. Shrug it off. Say that it was no big deal, but that would be a lie. While I have become very comfortable and accustomed to lying, I knew that for this, I couldn't. I had to be true to myself, her, and everyone else around me, so I agreed, "I didn't deserve it. You're right. Then why? Why did you do this to yourself? Why not go to a therapist? You chose the drug, even though there are other options."

I could see the regret quite clear on her face, her face twisting in regret as if she felt physical pain at my words. "I was desperate after Ben died. I, I just couldn't live with myself, and I hoped that what they were offering was going to help me get better and take care of you."

"Instead, it did the opposite." I clenched my jaw, trying to push down the memories that were trying to resurface. "Why? Why did you hurt me?

She shook her head, as if trying to shake off her memories as well. "That drug greatly affects the amygdala. It's the part in your brain responsible for aggression. The bixons cause you to want to hurt others. Peter, I swear, when I was hurting you, it was like the part of me that loved you was shoved to the back. I couldn't control my own actions. I could- I could see what I was doing, but I couldn't stop myself, no matter how hard I tried. Still, I know that's not an excuse for what happened. "

I sighed in response, not knowing how I felt about this. I walked to my bed and sat down on the edge, my body sinking down due to the soft mattress. 

She recognized my silence and said, "I know that you probably don't trust me anymore, and I fully understand why. I would just like to ask you for another chance, and I know that's a lot to ask for, but please, Peter. Please, give me another chance. There's just so much guilt, and I don't know if I can live with my actions. I understand if you say no. I'll understand."

May was trying to read my face although I did a good job of covering up my conflicting feelings. I looked down at the palms of my hands, thinking about my choice. Yes, she did abuse me and it scarred me, no doubt for life. I had been starved, beaten up, and verbally abused on a daily basis. There was a part of me that would never fully trust her again, fearing that she would go back to her previous ways. The other part felt that she was earnest. She really did feel sorry. I could sense it by how every word was spoken thick with regret. 

I knew one thing. If I did give her another chance, I needed it to go slow. 

"I need time," I finally spoke, breaking the silence. 

She stood up straighter. "Time? Would you like a distance between us for a while before trying?"

"No, I need time... to adjust. I can't live at that apartment, May. There's too much pain there. I can't." I closed my eyes. The apartment would always remind me of the past and how much pain she had caused me.

"Alright. I'll sell it," she announced.

My head snapped up. She wanted to sell the apartment where her memories with Ben had built up all over the years? "Are you sure? You don't have to. I know how much that place means to you."