The Perfect Posse

Chapter 15: You cannot change me.

I woke up to my own song playing as an alarm. I tossed over to shut off the alarm and then sat straight to stretch. Before I would go to the bathroom, I played one of my own incomplete song. Sometime I would find inspiration in the morning when my mind would be fresh.

The first thing that I used to do every morning was my morning skin routine. Being a big celebrity wasn't a piece of cake. You constantly had to look good in front of the camera, walk with grace and maintain poise.

I was idolised by thousands of young girls, which made it difficult for me to be independent. As much as I loved and endured it, sometimes I just want to swear during an interview when the interviewer crossed their limits. Sometimes I wanted to eat a cheeseburger at the restaurant instead of ordering a salad.

I loved my life very much. But I craved those moments in life. Valerie offered me a ticket to independence. Coming back to Maplebirch was difficult for me since my body had adjusted to the spotlight. But at the same time, coming back to my hometown was mandatory.

Everyday when I was back at the city, I lost a piece of myself to social media. I've had so many breakdowns to look perfect or to compete with other models or celebrities.

I missed the time when I had real friends. When I could call them and cry about my petty problems or just talk to them. The fame took it away from me. I had to be careful while opening my mouth in front of any of my reel friends.

Sometimes they would expose my on social media and let everyone know about my insecurity. I still remember the time when Darla befriended me. I though she was genuine and I looked forward to spending my time with her. She broke ties with me once she got a thousand followers on Instagram.

I felt cheap so many times when guys would throw themselves on me or my backup dancers would touch me in my private places. I tried complaining to my manger, but he did nothing since he was just another power hungry man who gave no shit about me.

He even warned me to wear decent and proper clothes at all time because paparazzis are not to be trusted. Sometimes I envied Valerie and her freedom to wear sweatpants and shirt whenever she wanted.

The only time I heard my own genuine laughter when Rosalind came to visit me. She booked a ticket to my show and I promised we would hang out later on. Despite of the spat we had before I moved to the city, I hung out with her. I needed it.

But in the end, I'm very happy with the place I'm at today. I proved myself worthy and I love my job. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Once I was done with my skin care routine, I took a shower and walked straight to my closet. The only thing I had to do today was meet up with the McAllister's. Since Valerie went to the orphanage, she needed a short break. I don't blame her, all of this was too overwhelming for us.

I decided to wear black tights and a peach crop top with a butterfly printed on it. I also wore a silver bracelet and matching hoops. I gave the outfit a final touch by wearing a pendant which had Brianna Sawyer engraved with cursive on it. Demi Lovato gifted me this during my birthday.