How does someone get over the loss of their child? Especially with everything going on in the world today. Some people claim I should be happy that I'm not raising my child in this world. That I am lucky I got a free pass to live my teenage years again. That is not how it works, I still have a baby. I am still a mother, right? I still get to celebrate mother's day? My beautiful El had a heartbeat. To me that means that I became a mother so no. Karen. I am not one of the lucky ones. I watched myself bleed and miscarry my baby El knowing there was nothing I could do to reverse it. I may be a teenager but I won't be partaking in the normal teenager activities. See there are a couple different types of teenagers. The teen moms, who are so so strong and are usually sitting home on a Friday night feeding her baby and rocking them to sleep. Then there the stereotypical teenager. Any given Friday night will most likely be filled with booze, girls, and music. So where do I fall? I do not get to sit and rock my baby. I do not even get to touch my baby, to look at my baby, to hear my baby. So, the eternal question that I am now battling, Who am I? Definitely not one of the lucky ones.
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Disclaimer: This is a picture of me (I swear guys I dont always look like shit, the first pic was morning sickness and this pic. Well. It was my El.) This is me after not showering for 3 days, yes you heard that. 3 days. This is me after laying on my couch crying for 3 days. This is me feeling empty as hell and not knowing what to do.
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Missing Your Miscarriage
Non-FictionTW: This is the story of how I am coping with the loss of my beautiful Ellington Rae. I am sharing my story to spread awareness that this could happen to anyone, anywhere. I hope you take the time to read this and I hope I can help you find some pea...
