I am so lucky to have my friends during this time. They have been there for me with candles, teddy bears, ice cream, and hugs when I need them. Sadly, it's not all perfect. Just remember that all friends make mistakes and they don't mean to hurt you. Last night my best friend texted me saying "Omg you could decorate the room in elephants bc their nickname is El". I cried. And I will probably cry again about it. She didn't mean to hurt me but it happened. I told her that I couldn't decorate a room for a baby who wasnt coming home. She apologized, she is still apologizing. It's so weird that one tiny comment can set me off and make me cry now. I'm sensitive as hell. Another one of my friends had to cancel her baby shower because of the Coronavirus pandemic. I know that she was sad and I am sad for her. It also makes me angry for some reason though, the other day when I found out I raged. Who cares, at least you have a baby? At least you get to see your baby grow. At least you get to see your bump grow. All of these are horrible things, I know. But in the moment that is really how I felt. I love this girl so much but it made me angry. Also many people have reached out to her to say they are sorry about her baby shower or offer her their support with her baby. But me? Nobody even cared when I announced I couldn't walk out of my house. When I announced that I was pregnancy. When I told people I was bleeding, when I finally announced that my baby went to be with God instead of on earth with me. I felt betrayed and I felt alone. I wasnt alone, I have friends and my sister to support me and help me in all steps of life. I also have you guys and your support for me and Ellington. Always remember that you have someone to talk to! Maybe not in person but I will always be here to text and support you through anything and everything you guys choose to do.
♡The cover photo of this chapter is one of the pictures I took showing a couple of my friends that I was pregnant! I've always loved writing and creating so when I found this baby shirt I fell in love. For anyone wondering, I found it at Old Navy for $0.97!
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Missing Your Miscarriage
Non-FictionTW: This is the story of how I am coping with the loss of my beautiful Ellington Rae. I am sharing my story to spread awareness that this could happen to anyone, anywhere. I hope you take the time to read this and I hope I can help you find some pea...
