𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑! 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐒 ↷ haikyuu x reader [✓]

❛BURN❜ - b. kotarou

burn : bokuto kotarou
requested by : the lovely sensualizings
(song fic / angst)

—

from the moment i read them,
i knew you were mine,
you said you were mine,
i thought you were mine

your eyes scanned tirelessly at the words on your phone screen, examining the texts sent between you and bokuto. a sigh escaped your lips as your eyes glossed over the texts.

you : sleep tight! sweet dreams :)

kotarou <3 : yeah u too

you : morning! did you sleep well? i hope so! i slept really well! i miss you <3

kotarou <3 : morning, miss u too

you : im getting ready right now! i cant wait to see you play today!

kotarou <3 : ok

the signs were obvious now but before, you were blind to the apparent. tears welled in your eyes as you scanned through the numerous photos you two had taken together, a crushing vice on your heart as you clicked on one of the photos, one of you two posing in front of a shrine.

the strings on your heart was tugged at as you scrolled more and more. all of these memories flooded your mind as your brained played the most joyous and happiest of memories.

you and your words flooded my senses.
your sentences left me defenseless,
you built me palaces out of paragraphs,
you built cathedrals.

what was it about you that made you so undesirable? your looks? the way you talked? maybe it was something about your personality? perhaps you were just too much to bother with.

another tear cascaded down your face as one picture after another kept appearing, you threw your phone aside and buried your face into the thick blankets that seemingly did nothing to this growing cold in your heart. his words filled your mind as you recalled what he had said hours before this.

—

"(y/n), i need to talk to you."

you've never heard your boyfriend so serious, it frightened you but your followed him outside the gym. it was a water break for the guys and you had decided to come see the boys practice before the national championship game. bokuto was almost never completely serious so it was moments like these that frightened you the most.

his voice was stern and calm but you could tell something was wrong, your guts was telling you to turn away but your heart told you to follow him, and you did.

bokuto dragged you out to the open yard beside the gym, his hand tightly around yours. you suddenly felt the urge to pull away and you did. bokuto stared at you silently before his eyes fell to the floor as well. it was too silent between the two of you.

im rereading the letter you wrote me
im searching and scanning
for answers in every line
for some kind of sign
of when you were mine
the world seems to burn

"what's the matter...?" you asked quietly, afraid of hearing his answer. you prayed silently that nothing was wrong and you were simply being too serious about this whole debacle.

"things, just aren't... working out." bokuto sighed, his hand raised to his head as he rubbed his head sheepishly. his eyes were glued to the floor as worry flooded your mind.

"w-what things? i-i can help! is it v-volleyball? school?" you asked frantically, in attempt to uncover the issue. bokuto bit his bottom lip, "no it's not that. it's, us. you and i, (y/n). things aren't working out and i just, don't know anymore..."

your heart sunk into the pits of your stomach, a lump formed in your heart as you held back the tears that threatened to fall. you wanted to remain strong.

"w-what are y-you talking about k-kotarou...? a-am i the problem...? are y-you not, happy with me...?" you softly asked, suddenly your eyes seemed so fixated on the floor to prevent bokuto from seeing your tears.

he sighed again, looking away, he felt guilty. "you're not the issue, it's just, i fell out of it. i don't feel the same anymore and i don't want to drag you down or make you feel awful but it's just, im not in love anymore."

ah, there it was. what you were afraid of all along, the feel of your partner not loving you back, not feeling the same, unrequited love.

i hope that you, burn

—

you bawled your eyes out that night. you both accepted it as reality and you left that night with his hand in yours one last time before he dropped you off at your home and left without a word. you sprinted up to your room, tossing your bags aside and jumped into your bed, crying.

it didn't stop there. the entire night, you cried. each moment you closed your eyes, his face resurfaced and you were forced to open them- only to meet darkness- and reality hits again. it was an endless loop of crying and agony.

you ignored the obvious, blinded by your love for him. you neglected the hints that he sent you because you were afraid of letting go. talk about foolish.

he may have been yours but his heart never was.

—
a.n

imskdjdksns im so sorry- i tried with this one. i know that the song literally is about cheating but like- i cant see bokuto doing that.

also im so so sorry for the awful attempt at angst, i haven't written anything angsty in a lONG ass time so i do apologize!

anywayyyyy, i hope y'all liked it and ALSO ALSO ALSO !!

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 1K READS !! ITS ONLY BEEN LIKE THREE WEEKS BUT WOWOWOW THANK YOU!!

I LOVE YALL AND ILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE SHOT ! (pls request y'all)

— NEXT UP, AKAASHI KEIJI