Black Dagger Brotherhood Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirteen

I called Blay and Q and asked them to come to my room so I can tell them what's happening. I've spoken to Mary and she had some amazing advice to give. She's had cancer and has survived. Although her circumstances are extraordinary. Jane explained that the prognosis isn't good for me but they want to start me on treatment right away. There's a knock on my door and Blay and Q come in. Blay sits beside me and takes my hand while Q sits on the sofa beside my bed. "Why didn't you tell us when you were going to see Jane?" asks Blay softly. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "It's lung cancer," I say, my voice sounding thick. I clear my throat and Blay shakes his head in denial. "That can't be," says Q, "We would have smelt it on you." "Not if I've been masking it." We look up to see Lassiter standing against my cupboard, his arms folded across his chest. "You knew," I said quietly. He nods and looks away, "I've been trying to find a way to help you. I thought leaving you in the sanctuary would prolong things." He looks down at his boots and goes silent. Q leans his elbows on his legs and drops his head. Blay squeezes my hand, "There are treatments. Humans recover all the time. Just don't give up." I nod but I haven't decided about going on treatment yet. Jane said it's just to keep me alive a bit longer. My cancer is terminal and the state my body is in, after everything I've been through, doesn't help. Q comes to sit next to me and takes my other hand in his, "You're one of the strongest humans we know. This isn't going to stop you. You won't be alone either. We will be here whenever you need us and Luchas-" "No," I say cutting him off, "I really would prefer it if no one else knows. Please." Q looks at me uncertainly, "Not even Luchas? You two are pretty close, just because he changed his room-" "-It's not about that. Really. I just want to be treated the same. I don't want everyone looking at me differently or acting weird around me. I don't want this to stop feeling like home." I don't want to say goodbye either but that's out of my hands now. "What can we do? How can we help?" asks Blay. "Well, I'm going to need to go for chemo. Jane is going to try and get Havers to help so I can get treated there. If you guys have time then maybe you can take me there every now and then. But I have Fritz to take me when-" "-You got it," says Q quickly. "If Jane can get the treatment to Havers then why don't you take it here?" asks Blay. "You know how busy the medical facility is here. It would be easy for everyone to find out. Havers has a special room he will keep ready for me and it will be done really privately." Blay looks resolute. "At least one of us will be there, for every visit," he says firmly. "That's not necessary, it's just if you guys have free time." Q throws his arm over my shoulder while keeping our hands linked, "You can't argue about this. It's what's going to happen whether you like it or not. When is your first visit?" I shrug, "I still have to discuss it with Jane."

After talking a little more, Blay and Q leave. I'm glad I told them. Blay and Q have really been there for me. At first I thought it was out of guilt or obligation but as time has gone by, it's clear that they are just genuinely good people. I'm so lucky to have met them and everyone else here. If this is the end. it couldn't happen in a better place. It couldn't be with better people. "I'm glad you're going for treatment," says Lassiter. I look up in surprise, I forgot he was still around. He's been so silent this whole time. "I haven't actually decided yet." He looks at me sternly, "Then why did you make it seem like you're going?" I sigh, "You know why. If I hadn't said that, they would have kept going off at me. But it's my body. My decision." His teeth clench and I see a muscle in his jaw jump, "So another bad decision then. You don't learn, do you." I've never seen him so serious before. He isn't one to get angry or upset. But he doesn't understand. No one could. "You know, when Jane told me, the first thought that came into my mind is that I should have died when I was with the lessers. I've just been living on borrowed time." Lassiter's brows go down and I put up a finger to stop him from getting more upset with me, "But I spoke to Mary. She's really helping me try to come to terms with things. I was born with an expiration date, even though the cancer gives me a shorter time frame, I could even die before that. Nothing is set in stone." "Exactly," he says firmly, "Which means that you should get treatment. By sitting back and doing nothing, you're giving up. You are not a quitter." I look at him as I contemplate, "You can see things no one else can, right?" He nods in response. "It must be quite a burden," I say. He shrugs, "It's part of my reason for being. Just as you have your reason." "The chemo may make me sick. It's hard to just say yes when I know this. Think about it from my perspective. This cancer is terminal. Do I really need to go through all the pain and being poked and prodded in the time I have left. After that warehouse, the last thing I want is to be in a hospital again. To have to suffer again." Lassiter kneels in front of me and holds onto both my arms, "Promise me you won't give up. Promise me that you will try. You can do anything you put your mind to," He looks at me so earnestly, it makes me feel like he can see my soul. I nod but he frowns, "Say it." I look at him exasperated, "I promise." He let's out a breath and sits beside me. "You can tell Luchas if you want to. He really cares about you." I shake my head, "I really just want the few of you to know. Besides, it seems like he's busy so I won't want to worry him." "He moved rooms because I asked him to," says Lassiter quietly. I look at him in surprise, "Why would you do that?" "Would you want him to be next door when you don't even want him to know about the cancer?" he asks. "Good point," I concede. "I also told him to give you some space for now. But you can always go see him. He's in a room close to Blay and Qhuinn's," he says. "So, you said you were helping him but you were really trying to help me?" I ask. "He is one of my charges, it's just that he needed some time before I could approach him. Everything has it's time and place." I nod as I try to understand, "Will you keep the scent masked for me, please?" He puts his arm around me, "You know I will. You didn't even need to ask. I really wish I could have done something. I wish I could have stopped all of this." I give him a squeeze, "Don't do that. You may be an angel but you aren't God. I know this is out of your hands. Out of all of our hands really. But you're right. I won't give up. I did promise anyway." He smiles, "That's my girl."