2 weeks later
I'm cooking at the moment. I can't cook worth shit, but i don't feel like driving today. I made it back to LA a week and a half ago. It's nice to be back at my home. I've started writing music in my room, so we will just have to see where that goes.
I'm starting to feel a little better about the whole billie situation. The first few nights after that has been really hard. I've started smoking weed and drinking more to erase my thoughts and sort of mentally disappear.
*beep beep*
That is the timer for my food. I made pizza, burnt pizza.
"Well fuck me" i say to myself "Screw it" i cut myself a slice of the burnt pizza and i eat it. This is fucking nasty but i'm lazy and too depressed to give a fuck and do something about it
As i sit down on my couch, i hear my door knock.
"My god, who the fuck is it?" i say in annoyance as i open the door. "Why the fuck are you here?" i ask the silver haired girl standing before me
"I want to talk to you." she says
"Well i don't want to talk to you" i reply shutting the door in her face. She puts her hand on the door to prevent it from shutting.
"Are you high?" billie asks sounding concerned
yes
"That is not of your business" i reply
Billies Pov
Her eyes look empty and dull. They lost that sparkle that they once had. She looks so depressed and it's all my fault.
"You look so upset and i am so sorry" i say
"yeah well i'm sorry that things had to end this way. I really don't feel like talking to you Billie. I don't want to work this out." she says
"Look i know i fucked up Amala. There is no changing that. We don't have to be in a
re-relationship. I just want to be friends or at least on good terms because i don't want to fully lose what we had. I don't want to leave here today having you hating me for making a stupid mistake." i say
"Billie i-i can't do this right now. I need time to think about all of this. I still love you so much and it's tearing me apart because i don't want to. I have so much anger built up inside of me and i don't know what to do with it! Billie I am afraid i will never stop loving you, so for me please just go." she says
"I am never going to stop loving you either. I am gonna go. Please just be safe and don't hurt yourself because of this. You will get over this. You will move on and love another." i say as i'm walking away
"Wait" she says softly
I turn around and look at her
"Why did you come here? Why aren't you at school?" she asks genuinely confused
"I decided i didn't want to do it anymore. I decided that i'm just gonna make music and if nobody sees it then oh well. Not like you care, but me and my brother, Finneas, we put out a song the other day on soundcloud called 'ocean eyes'" i reply to her with a soft smile
"That is great, you're gonna go far billie, i can tell" her lips tug into a smile "goodbye billie"
"This isn't goodbye amala, i will see you again one day" i say to her as i'm walking to my car "take care mama"
Amala's Pov
I did not expect any of that. I close the door and walk over to my laptop. I go onto soundcloud. I search up 'Billie O'connell'. Nothing popped up. I suddenly remembered she wanted to be known as 'Billie Eilish' so i typed that in. I click on the song that pops up. Music starts playing throughout my house. This woman really is gonna go far. She definitely has more confidence than me. I keep releasing stuff and then deleting it, scared of what people will think of me and my music.
As i continue to listen to this song, i take a bite of my now cold, burnt pizza.
I think to myself that this is only the beginning, i am gonna put out my music for people whether it gets a lot of views or not. Whether i have 3 listeners, i will continue to put out music for them and myself .
This is only the beginning of what seems to be a whole other adventure...
-
Well guys, i lied this chapter isn't longer. I also cannot believe it's the end of this first book already. Thank you guys SOOOOO much for reading this. It makes me so happy to think that people take their time to read the chapters I am putting out. I may not be the best writer on here, but i am so glad that you guys think this book is good. It means so much to me.
If you're upset about this ending, don't be because i'm gonna be putting out the first chapter to the sequel some time soon. Idk what to name the sequel though so PLEASEEE give me suggestions lmaoo
