YELLOW [[klance]] [[COMPLETED]]

keith.

part 3: yellow.

one day, it was like i opened my eyes and all i saw was gray.

i lived in a photograph, preserved in the dull and sullen amber of some torpid, miserable time. i moved in slow-motion through a gritty landscape of meaningless black-and-white. i moved and spoke hollowly, like a preprogrammed robot, like the husk of some other. a person i used to be.

i went to group therapy and i sat surrounded by white walls and gray silence. nothingness. i wallowed in some broken form of myself, just a pile of fractals. just the residue of the moment my car hurtled off the cliff, my body just the remnants of the impact when it hit the ground below and tumbled. nothing left of me but my dry and barren skin, nothing left of me but bones and exhausted, anguished heart.

(it's a concept. 'boy lives in in world of black and white.')

what do you do with a body that doesn't work and a mind that's broken?

i didn't know.

yet now i know. i know that my body still works and a mind that's broken is nothing less then a mind that is whole. everything broken is fixable. i know that now.

thanks to him. 

lance mcclain was a walking array of vibrant colors. he was the vivid mess of a messy life, soaked in blues that played off as yellows, soaked in laughs and stars, peppermints and guitar picks, adidas shoes and nail polish. soaked in air he couldn't breathe and life he couldn't live.

live, lance mcclain.

live in all the color you gave me. me, the artist, could not even muster all the color you painted me in.

so you gave me color, and here's what i give you.

life. 

live with me. if not tomorrow, today. if not today, we had yesterday, and that infinity was worth all the light of all the stars that might be dead, but it doesn't matter that they're dead because they're still so fucking beautiful anyways.

no matter how beautiful, lance mcclain.

no matter how yellow.

so i only speak the truth now, only the truth when i soak in these colors. i'll draw you the truth, even if i cannot swim in it or bike through it or fight it.

virginia woolf once said "i am rooted, but i flow", and i am rooted by these wheels but i flow with your life, your colors.

my life, my colors.

so this is the truth. the truth and nothing more, the truth and nothing less.

i love you, lance. i do, so much. 

and you are rooted. i am rooted.

i am rooted, but i flow.

so flow, lance mcclain.

flow.