Diary From The Carrot Union

Chapter 13: #MyRainCloud

Author's Note

BEST EXPERIENCED WITH THE VIDEO ABOVE

I got the necessary ingredients while his girl is making the dough the size of my television. Like hell, she's raiding everything in my pantry!

"Now this, Mr Leon, is called Pelmeni!"

"Well," I smiled, "Now we're talking - true Carrot Union heritage dish! Is it like Pierogi?"

"More or less, though this is something more than a simple spaghetti, very simple I say! It makes you strong like a bear!"

I heard stories of the cats adding rabbit meat as pierogi filling, but I tried to stay positive as Star Hopps is a rabbit like me unless she suddenly turned against me with a knife.

But we're fortunate, as the filling was made with roasted white mushrooms and sauteed minced onion.

I know how to make pelmeni, at least, cause it's elementary - you put in the filling, roll it up with the dough, then boil it in a pot with salt and bay leaf. Rinse and repeat about sixteen times because of the dough Star made, then serve it with a vegetable broth and garnish it with parsley.

And she was the bright star of the day, looking back at me with her cheeky smile as I dived in the meal. Enough said, it was one of the most delicious meals I ever had.

"Well I'll be damned. Where did you learn to cook?"

"Well," Star cooed, "Orphanage wasn't always as bad as you thought. Kind babushkas taught us how to cook authentic Carrot Union cuisine, and I always heed her teachings!"

"Well, at least they're teaching you something," I said, "But sorry, you won't learn anything new here."

"That's okay sir, after all, it's all trial and error! Nothing goes to waste, if you're willing to endure your bad cooking, that is, heh!"

What a snarky little kit, I thought she's getting more comfortable with her surroundings that all of her initial meeknesses is starting to break down, but then again, meek isn't the right word to describe her. And that doesn't help the fact that she single-handedly ate like eight pelmenis in one sitting, ending it with a large burp, and I don't know whether to feel disgusted or impressed.

****

The rest of the rainy day, we spent unpacking her stuff in one of the bedrooms I did not use, one that brought back many memories of better times.

"Did somebody live here Mr Leon?"

"Well, it was a long time ago, not important now." I said.

After vacuuming the mattress, I spread in the new bedcover and checked the fluffiness of the pillow, while Star anticipated with her leporine stare.

It was nightfall, and Star was now in her pyjamas with a vanilla aroma. All of her toys are still in boxes she brought, but the essentials, such as her fluffy teddy and diary, are prepared, alongside a small light and a writing desk.

"Surely there's some young doe living here cause I can smell her!"

I just wish Star would stop asking questions, but this particular one hits me home as Star noticed several balls of fur on the mattress, white and soft fur, as well as some hairpins.

....

"This was my daughter's room, Star...A long time ago. I don't want to talk about it."

....

Star stayed silent for a moment, and upon realisation, came to apologise, "Okay then, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, apology accepted, I guess..."

I swallowed the bitterness on my throat to be reminded of those better times as if it hurt fecking much in my eyes to remember it, so I grinned up my best smile and closed her bedroom door, but.

"Mr Leon, can you hug me before I sleep?"

And that is when it hits me back, the pain she unearthed at this exact moment, the pain I have meticulously buried underneath the long work hours and vodka, now exposed in its fullest extent.

"Maybe next time, Star, I need to rest for a while? Okay?"

....

I felt tears flowing down my cheeks, as I miss her so much, and that I shall do anything to get her back, but I knew it wasn't possible, as neither her nor her mother was no longer part of this living world.

Well, what about another shot of vodka to drown all the sorrows, yeah? So I went back to my porch just to find a rainwater-cooled bottle of fresh vodka waiting for me. It was my only solution...

The only problem is, I don't want to set a bad example for her, as too many little girls have negligent dads that drink all-day. But what the hell? What the hell am I going to do?

Should I do nip again? Or just proceed with the shoot myself plan? But what about little Star? Why the hell is she a part of my life? And why didn't I tell her to feck off immediately?

....

I peeked through the door and found Little Star Hopps sleeping on her bed.

I dare not wake her up, nor to intrude her any further, so I turned off the lights and went to my old bed after a glass of water, looking at the stars just outside my balcony, and to that same bottle of vodka, watching me with its mocking lid.

But that thought came back, and then I found myself sobbing quietly under the shade of darkness.

....

"Mr Leon, are you okay?"

How pathetic for a grown rabbit to wake up a child because of his sorrow, but at that moment, the warmth of another person is all I need, and Star seemed to know it too well, so she came to my bedside and hugged me.

And I cried the pain out, and Star was always there on my grasp, bringing in that human contact I was starved for more than a decade.

Little by little, the tears started to dry out, and my head started getting drowsy, so I laid down with Star next to me, as the sorrow began to settle down, as my eyes began to close, and as everything went dark.