Impenetrable Heart | Lams College AU

Rumors Only Grow

     Every step was more agonizing than the last, and John wished he could just disappear into the ground. He could feel the stares on the back of his neck, the snickers as he walked past. Sometimes he could even hear snippets of what they would say.

     "There goes the local druggie, who would've guessed?"

     "I heard he's not into girls."

     "Did you hear that John had something to do with that one kid disappearing? Probably killed him or something."

     He pulled his hood up and walked faster, trying his best to ignore it. After a while, however, it became impossible. The accusations became more severe, twisting and morphing into horrid, horrid things John knew he would never have done. That he ran a drug cartel, that he was responsible for Daniel's disappearance, that he killed him over a dispute. Even people he knew began avoiding him in classes or the halls. So, he eventually stopped going to class altogether.

     "John, c'mon you need to get up," Herc said, pulling the sheets off of a drowsy John. He groaned and pulled them back over himself.

     "No."

     "You've missed class every day this week, you need to go."

     "I'm not going!"

     In reality, he felt terrible. His head felt like a war zone most of the time and he felt constantly nauseous and shaky. Most of the time, he didn't even have the strength to get out of bed. After using the same excuse multiple times, Laf, Herc and Alex were unconvinced, so he decided to stop saying anything.

     "John, what is going on with you?" Laf said, walking into the room. John, huffed, sitting up.

     "Nothing. "

     Laf crossed his arms. "Don't try that. I know you were up late last night throwing up."

     John frowned. It was true, he recently was having a hard time keeping much down, and whenever he did it ended terribly. He had tried being quiet about it.

     "Are you on those heavy drugs again?"

     "What? No!"

     "Dude, you can tell us if you are. We just need to make sure you're okay-" Herc began, but John cut him off. He'd heard it a million times.

     "I'm not on anything, you guys, so please stop worrying, alright?"

     It killed him when he did that. He hated being difficult and seeing the sadness that overcame Laf and Herc. He knew they wanted to help- it was human nature after all- but some things were better kept in the dark. After the two left for class, John eventually stumbled out into the living room and laid on the couch, as the darkness of his room was too depressing for him. He had almost fallen back asleep when a series of knocks sounded at the door. Behind it, stood Alex, who was absolutely drenched in rain. How long had it been raining? John wondered. He must've been really out of it.

     "Hey, John, can I come in?"

     "Yeah- yeah," John said, opening the door the rest of the way. Alex shuffled in, and John noticed he had a small plastic bag.

     "Laf said you guys were out of Tylenol, so I thought I'd bring over some," he laughed, pulling out a bottle. "He was right."

     "About what?"

     "You look terrible."

     John frowned. Of course, Laf would've said something to Alex.