When all was well and good. A journey that seemed promising and long-lasting , suddendly turns upside down in a single night. A series of mysteries unravel, including crazy stupid love, broken promises, unknown secrets burried deep within, that pu...
Wow, staring at a wall seems so amusing. Doesn't it? Why didn't I try it earlier? with countless lists of thoughts crawling in.... Is there a way to stop thinking? A drug or anything at all, to just shut down all the in-borne voices. I have never felt so insentient before, even during days when my so-called friends ignored me. If I ever get a chance to meet Dorothy from the wizard of Oz I would strangle her to death and later on question... what the hell do you mean by telling there's no place like home? HOME...the word itself incinerates the demon in me. Did they ever give a damn about me, my thoughts, my fears, my goals, interest, tastes, Nope!!! Walking away from HOME was the wisest choice I had ever made. And yet, I never accompanied hatred with me.
But now,
Looking around the house, I could feel the house sulking as well, doomed in darkness. It's been almost a week, and yet everything remains untouched. Nothing matters anymore; everything we loved dearly has been snatched away from us.
Did I ever commit an unpardonable crime? Something inside mutters: not really.
I moved on with my life... Now I realise why it was so easy to move ahead, even during days when I had to wipe though damn tears away and pull myself from the quicksand, patting my back for conquering a decent job. I never regretted losing them cause....I never treasured them, neither did they.
Now, I'm so immensely in love, that her teardrop slices every single cell inside me. The pain filled eyes, makes me wanna jump off from the roof and die. When her lips tremble to say the words..."It hurts"...I could hang myself to death. This is what love does. It is for our sweethearts, we breathe in the most essential thing for survival ... Oxygen, it's their twinkle that enlightens our day and even the slightest amount of despondency would rip our soul apart. Isn't it?
Perhaps that's the reason; people of the decade are too frightened to fall in love truly, because it's a thousand times harder to fall out of it.
The longer I sit, the calls from underneath are over powering me. Uh-oh the numbness sets in, I begin to walk around the dining area. What goes around comes around. Why am I thinking about this now? It has nothing to do with my present day situation. At this rate, I might just die of mental illness. Trying to suppress my thoughts is like trying to solve a math problem, the harder you try the tougher it gets to solve. I end up increasing it by a few zillion times.
Why did she die? Just like that!!! How dare she take off and vanish. There was nothing wrong with her. She was completely alright. Wasn't she? Grinning, laughing and for the record she even considered me as a fellow human and ended up being too kind and generous. I felt, this is what people call, a rainbow after a little rain, but in my story there was an hailstorm after the little rain.
The next morning .. she's gone...dead...
I couldn't believe my ears...I can imagine myself screaming to those bloody doctors...I saw her have dinner with us, she seemed pumped up with energy, finally beginning to feel herself. She spoke about her childhood days, she accepted me you damn it. And then, here you freaking come and tell. She's no more .... like what the F**k....
That was the day, everything crumbled like bread crumbs...the slightest ray of hope, was kidnapped.
Will my death also be like that, uncalled... unannounced...I go to bed like every other day and end up being perished the next day. Whoa!! The thought itself is giving me Goosebumps. This is why people tell... Never take anyone for granted, they might not be there with you the very next moment - to yell at you, fight with you, share their memories of the day, not even there to console that the nightmare is almost over, it's all gonna end soon, you will be alright ... "What if you end up, losing the person you love, more than anything in this world? What will you do? How can you ever survive?" You will realise how it actually feels only when you experience it, the very question of your survival is ........ ?
What in the world...am I speaking about? Wait!!! What!!! Whom am I speaking to right now. I'm interrogating my own self.... Guess, this is level of high insanity.
Every single day, a piece of me is constantly withering away, Death is far more better than undergoing these hardships, an angelic part of me whispers... that isn't a good idea,
You are all she has... and she's all I have. I realise.
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