Chapter 1-Ki

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            I don't think there's anything worse in the world than disappointment. True disappointment, that is. Not the 'they ran out of your favorite flavor at the ice cream parlor' kind but the one where you get that look, that tone, and you know you absolutely screwed up. Even though my parents weren't standing in front of me, I could still see their faces. The look they would give me. It filled me with a dreadful feeling of regret and betrayal, to say nothing of sorrow.

No one wants to have this phone call. I would've rather been talking about a death in the family. My entire body was numb to the point I couldn't even form words anymore. All I could do was grunt and hum. I lost count how many times I said sorry. My eardrum throbbed and there was a crick in my elbow from holding my phone for so long. At least they weren't yelling anymore.

How could you waste such potential? What do you mean you never went into science? Do you know how much we gave up for you in order to do this? Why did you think you could get a job in design? Do you know how little those kinds of jobs get paid? Did you ever think of telling us?

I don't remember saying much after I started the call. I listened to them yell, rant, and rave at me for the better part of a half hour, quietly holding back emotions so my voice wouldn't break when I answered. Their words stung like chewing on sour grapes while cats clawed at my heart. What else could I do? I spent the last two and a half years lying to my parents about what I was really doing with my life. Certainly not physics, like I said I was doing, with an interest in engineering. It all started with the application and a few quick changes when my mother turned away to change loads of laundry. I knew I would have to face it eventually but I never wanted them to find out this way.

A phone call from the bank. That's all it took. It wasn't even their fault. They just wanted to let my parents know their automatic payment system was no longer set up. I'm the one that screwed up by flunking out of college. It hadn't even been a week since I got my official letter.

After hanging up with a muted goodbye, I sat in my room for over an hour staring at the wall. My chest felt hollow, my emotions empty. Even now, when I had the chance, I couldn't bring myself to cry. I respected my parents and appreciated all they did for me. Raising me, giving me food and shelter, putting clothes on my naked butt. They were more than eager to start saving up when I first brought up college and they nearly bounced out of their shoes at the airport when waving goodbye. I was going to make them proud. Now I was the family screw up. Worse than my uncle. Worse than my cousin. Worse than the great-grandfather we're not supposed to talk about.

What snapped me out of my daze was another phone call and I muttered a weak "hey" as I answered.

"Ki! I've been waiting here for an hour!" Reagan complained. I glanced at the time. Well, crap. I planned to meet him after I spoke with my parents, although I really wasn't all that late. Reagan, as much as I loved him, could be the world's biggest drama queen. Even more so when his girlfriend, Mysti, wasn't around. But I knew the call wasn't out of impatience. He was always checking up on me in his subtle ways.

"Sorry. I sort of spaced out," I apologized.

"Well, get your butt over here before the barista decides to kick me out," Reagan stated. I stood, stuffing a few items into my backpack. Funny how light a bag can be once you dump out all the books.

"You've probably been there for five minutes. I'll be on the next bus over," I shot back. I heard Reagan purposely slurp his drink through his straw.

"By the way, Trevor and Kaylee want you to text them what happened. I'll fill in Mysti after we chat but I'm sure she'll want to talk with you too. Now don't keep me waiting! That barista is seriously eyeing me." Reagan cut the call and I sighed, shouldering my bag. I checked I had my keys and wallet, double checking I had my ID inside, before leaving my apartment.

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