Accessory Wars

Chapter 12-Felisa

            I started my gym membership that Monday after I finished class. Kami made sure she had time off from work for us to practice every day for the next week. I thought of pulling back on our deal at least a dozen times before I signed the paperwork. The idea of training as an Elicit terrified me. Being a tournament fighter drew attention. I kept trying to reassure myself I could still lay low but the negative thoughts kept trying to overtake my decision.

I brought an extra bag with me to class Monday filled with a water bottle and workout clothes consisting of a baggy t-shirt and shorts. The shorts were the only piece of male clothing I had left and they were special. My older brother gave them to me once he outgrew them and the worn fabric reminded me of him. Kind and gentle. Faded. I found myself missing him when I packed the shorts into my drawstring bag.

Kami beat me to the gym and she wore her usual gothic attire. I went to change in the bathroom because the thought of changing in a public locker room terrified me. All those stares... Single person restrooms proved to be the safest place for me to change time and time again. After changing, I slipped into the locker room to shove my stuff into a locker. One lady gave me an odd look but didn't say anything. I kept my head down and hurried past her, praying she didn't ask any questions.

One of the staff gave us a tour of the gym, showing us the privet rooms, the weight room, basic everyday gym equipment and the sparring rings. I felt myself freezing up as I watched a pair of Elicit hacking away at each other with swords and axes. There was no way I could ever do that. I glanced at Kami and she kept her emotions blank as usual. Outside of talking to me, she rarely cracked a smile or showed any interest in a conversation with other people. Sometimes I wondered if she even enjoyed talking to me.

We went to what I initially thought were changing rooms. They were actually rooms for people to equip in if they didn't like people watching them. I found myself loving them as much as the single person bathrooms. After equipping Kami, I found the process lined up with my initial thoughts about it. Once I slipped on the ring, I didn't even think as my mind went into the void and pulled Kami's energy on around me. It reminded me of getting a new pair of shoes. The fabric stayed stiff the first few times but it softened and molded to the curve of the foot with each use.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror again. My chest looked too small, barely a bump for my sad excuses of breasts. The shorts brought out every curse of my butt, which wasn't much. While the fabric sort of hid the fact wasn't not entirely female yet, looking at the right angle made the bulge more noticeable. It made me extremely self-conscious. I wished it had been a skirt.

My thoughts must have been too open because I felt a trickle of reassurance come from Kami. I quickly shut off my mind, worried what she might think. What if she thought I was a freak? Would she call this off? Would she think I'm disgusting? I bet she would. Who would want to be equipped to a transgender girl? Maybe I should tell her. Then we could break it off, our friendship over quick and painless.

"You okay there, love?" Kami asked.

I wanted to say no. "I'm not a fan of how I look," I admitted.

Kami laughed. "You look lovely. A few piercings, maybe a nice tattoo, some makeup to make your features pop and voila! A beautiful gothic girl."

"No, thank you. What are we doing today?" I asked in my head. No need to look more like a freak by talking to myself.

"We'll start out with having you try out some of the techniques we tried yesterday." I felt a small weight leave my chest. I expected Kami wanted me to spar on my first day and diving in head first did not suit me. Maybe once I got my toes wet first. I headed out for one of the privet practice rooms, passing by a couple people along the way. One gave me a strange look while the other paid no mind. It hastened my pace nonetheless.