Accessory Wars

Chapter 31-Ki

            I woke up screaming again. Not that counting made a difference but it was the fourth time that night. Twenty six times this week. The night nurse came in and helped me down from my panic attack. Then she sat beside my bed while I tried to fall back asleep. I pulled the blanket over my head, wishing the nightmares would stop. Not only did they consist of the usual crap but it also played back the tournament. Images of Jay's dead corpse, Elicits trying to murder me and getting torn apart kept flooding my dreams. One night of peace was all I asked for. I doubted it would come for quite a long time. Time slipped by and I pretended to fall asleep so the nurse could leave. I laid there in the silence, counting the seconds go by with my breathing.

When I woke from my exhausted state, I was a mess. Once they deemed my vitals stable, I was transferred down to the psychiatric ward under my parents' request. At first, I didn't want to go. But then the hallucinations started and I started losing track of how many pills they had me take just so I could function. I wasn't ashamed of taking them. I wanted peace of mind and if it came in a box with an Rx on the label then it was alright by me.

As I pretended to sleep that night, my thoughts kept shifting back to Jay, despite trying best not to. Jay was on his third offense, a guaranteed serving sentence. More than likely the judge already handed out the verdict just by reading the case file. Colfry mentioned someone was going to work on the case to see if Jay could be acquitted but I wasn't going to get my hopes up.

When the first people stirred out in the halls, I rolled out of bed. What good was it to stay hiding under my thin sheets? It certainly didn't keep the dreams out. I ventured out of my room and sat on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. How many movies had I watched on that TV? At least they had a nice one. Back home, the TV was small and the volume kept cutting out every fifteen minutes. I grabbed the remote and clicked it on, keeping the volume on mute so the subtitles scrawled across the screen. Someone left it on the oldies channel from their last viewing. Oh, wait. That was me. The movie playing was one I recognized. My Gran used to watch it all the time. Love of the Night, the strange tale of the male falling in love with the moon. I missed watching old movies with my Gran.

I set the remote down, curled my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. I watched the man, whose name was Reggie, stroll down the street on an overcast night. He kept looking up at the sky with a forlorn expression, occasional raindrops pattering down on his coat. It made it look like the moon was crying from being unable to see the man below. It made me think of Jay. Okay, everything made me think of Jay but that wasn't the point.

I dozed off on the couch and woke when a nurse shook my shoulder, telling me breakfast arrived. I pried myself away from my seat, noticing the movie reached the point in which Reggie begged the moon to answer him. My Gran used to place a hand over her chest during this part, as if she were going to cry. She did it every time too, no matter how many times she watched it. I watched the movie out of the corner of my eye while I ate. It had a bittersweet ending. Reggie tried to jump off the rooftop but a huge gust of wind pushed him back. When he looked up, he sees the moon shining in its full bright glory on him. He took it as a sign the moon saved his life and he lived out the rest of his life loving the moon from afar. Not an ideal way to live one's life but, hey, it's a movie.

My parents came to visit me later in the day. They brought up not being safe again and I tried to remind them I couldn't stop random attacks. We played a board game with a few pieces missing to pass the time. I didn't have much interest in the game but it felt nice having my parents around. They even brought me some of grandma's Kkultarae, a sweet made out of strands of honey and filled with nuts. The only thing more magical than eating them was watching how they were made. I used to sit for hours watching my Gran make them. Of course, I ate too many of them when she pretended not to look and gave me a cheeky smile whenever she caught me.