Accessory Wars

Chapter 57-Felisa

            It's hard to breathe when your face is pressed into a comforter for a long period of time but I didn't feel like moving. All the motivation left my body after returning from Whales. I stayed in my apartment for the entire week and I would have stayed a second had I not needed to get groceries. The last food in my cupboard were two cans of condensed soup. I didn't like condensed soup. They were part of a bag I picked up from the food shelf when I wasn't able to afford groceries earlier in the spring. At least I didn't have to worry about going to class as it was now summer break.

Coming home knowing I lost what little semblance of a boyfriend I had stung yet it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I already expected him to leave, although having it actually happen still upset me. The fact they announced my secret to the entire stadium and the nearby states left me more distraught. I had two people comment to me at the gym the Monday afterwards. Had Kami not talked me down from my panic, I would have ended my gym membership that day.

Kami helped keep me focused, especially when my thoughts strayed to fretting. She suggested we work on our training outside the gym until both the public and myself calmed down. I appreciated it, even more so when we did it within my apartment. Hence why I didn't leave for the week. We worked on synergy, strategies and stretching with intense yoga. I hadn't realize how stiff my body had become since I started training. Not from stress but from muscle bulk. It was kind of embarrassing, especially since the bulkier muscles looked...masculine. I used Kami as my inspiration as she pulled off the look every day. A lot of muscular women did.

Another great source of inspiration for me was Donna and Valorie. During my self-inflicted solitary confinement, I made a Picto account. Not a day later they both sent me friend requests. The two posted a lot of pictures on their pages. I found myself scrolling through their Tournament and Practice albums on a regular basis. Both had amazing bodies in the gym and in casual clothes. It was also how I found out the two of them were dating. They posted cute pictures of some of their date night outfits, both of them glowing with smiles. Seeing them wear formal dresses for their third year anniversary left me staring. They were stunning. It made me feel better about my own body and I dreamed of a day I'd be able to afford something that made me look the same.

My growling stomach pulled me from my brooding and gave me the indication I needed to go shopping soon unless I wanted to eat salt and garlic powder for dinner. I had no ambition to touch the soup. It was like eating slime. Forcing myself upright, I put myself together before taking the bus down to the grocery store. I was stuck in some sort of daze as I wandered around the aisles. Nothing sounded good to eat. I wanted to grab a bunch of premade food so avoid cooking but my budget told me no. Deciding it was best to stick to my wallet, I began filling my cart with instant pasta, instant dehydrated noodles, rice, beans and canned fruit.

As I headed to the refrigerated section, I looked over my cart. It looked pathetic. At least we could be pathetic together. I began to look for a decent carton of eggs when I felt an uneasy atmosphere surround me. It took all my energy to pry my face away from my carton and found Harvey standing six feet away with a basket on his arm. Next to Ken, he was probably the last person I wanted to talk to.

"Um, hey," he greeted.

"You don't have to talk to me," I replied in a sharp, but quiet, tone. I turned back to my eggs. "I don't blame you for walking out."

"You're making me sound like a jerk," Harvey countered. I shot him a glare. "Look, I'm just not comfortable dating...well, whatever you are. I prefer knowing what sort of person I'm getting into."

Whatever you are. He made it sound like I wasn't even human. I swallowed my anger, knowing full well people like me were not welcome in most parts of the world. I set my eggs into the upper section of my cart.