~ Traitor ~

Chapter One

Rae's POV

Where did my life go so wrong? I suppose it's best if I start from the beginning. Me and my brother, Jordan, fell out whilst I still lived at home. We gave each other "both barrels" in certain respect.

My parents got involved and I was soon the outcast of the family as he was their favourite. He always has  been, especially since he signed for liverpool. Don't get me wrong, I will always be ecstatic for him but I won't forget how he treated me from that point.

I soon moved out, finding comfort in my new home, with my now ex partner Joel. We live in the other side of Liverpool. My life soon after went downhill. Things went wrong VERY quickly.

I accidentally fell pregnant. I was happy, Joel was not. It set something over Joel. He just snapped, switched even. He attacked me and I lost the baby. I was forced to report it and I had to fight through a Court case, with only my lawyer by my side.

We both worked for the same club. I am a physio but also a coach. He worked in the background too. But after the whole situation, the club couldn't have helped me any more than they did. Which is why my heart is completely broken they are now in administration.

Marley, my golden Labrador sat by my side as we watched the situation unfold. Soon, the club I know and loved, ceased to exist.

'Jord 🥺 - Hey Minnie. I heard about your club and I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do, please contact me. No matter how much we might think we hate each other, I'm always here for you 🖤'
'Thanks Jord. I appreciate it a lot 🥺🥺'

I threw myself into applying for jobs, for endless hours. By the time I dragged myself into bed, I was exhausted. The months of grief and court cases I endured weren't sadly going to be the end of hardship.

By the next morning, I was woken up to a phone call. I was offered an interview for later in the day, so I began to get ready. I showered and put on a light layer of make up. I tied my hair up into a bun and put on formal clothes - which is a damn sight different than my usual trackies and jumpers.

The interview went well. I sit with Marley and he of course provided me so much comfort whenever I needed it. The realistic expectations of the wage I used to have was slowly dwindling. The new wage I was to have, meant I barely had enough to survive. I had months worth of food for Marley, so we would be okay.
Suddenly all the things I had purchased, seem so trivial and unimportant now I look back.

I sat through the conference call of my club. We said our goodbyes as a group, knowing this was the end. It was beyond emotionally exhausting. We faced uncertainty, but always knew we'd remain the best of friends.

I look at my phone and Jordan is calling me.
"Minnie, are you okay?" He asks. "I'm worried about you."
"That's the first time in a while." I mumble.
"Minnie, please."
"Jord, my whole worlds gone. I've got nothing anymore."
"Do you need anything?"
"A new life?"
"Seriously Minnie. Do you need me? Or food... anything?"
"I'll be alright.."
"Can we meet up soon? I wanna talk. We all miss and love you so much Min."
"Of course. I miss you."
"I'm away for the next three weeks on camp. Can I text or call you when I'm home and we'll sort it out?"
"Yeah... that's fine."

Our conversation soon finishes. I was nervous. Accepting him back into my life might have its positives, but the negatives scared me too.

Exhaustion takes over and I crawl into bed, Marley by my side. He curls up and goes to sleep. He's only five months old, but he's the best. He's protective of me, but he could only lick you to death right now. He's learning tricks and toilet training so well. He's my best friend. I got him after my split with Joel. I felt lonely, I truly had nothing left and I felt taking my life was the only option left for me. I had sat on a bridge, ready. But I was stopped by a passing bystander.

He too, played football. We sat, talking for a while, before he drove me home and made me promise I would talk to someone and get help. I didn't, but after that, was my decision making in Marley. He was my therapy puppy almost. He'd also started training to help with my anxiety and especially the panic attacks.

I start watching a new series on Netflix, Tiger King. I was tired. For the life of me, I couldn't sleep, so I used my time wisely. I felt myself slowly dropping to sleep, so I plugged in my phone and paused the series and headed to bed, hoping the whole situation was a complete nightmare and I'd wake up, back at home, with a family who cared about me and my boyfriend who still cared enough.

But in reality, I knew I'd wake up in the same, horrible shitty life. The reality set in. I was going through the worst time, yet more and more was getting piled on to me. The grief of losing the baby, the recovery of the attack, the whole situation of the court case, losing my job. I don't think things can get worse, can they? I sure hope not. My mind drifts to my happy place as I try to fall asleep. I'd be sat, on the way to our next match. Laughing and joking with my team. It truly was the best and I'll never forget it. I'll always have the upmost respect and be forever grateful for the support they gave me.

I drop off to sleep, knowing I'd be still half asleep when I woke up, still exhausted, knowing it was never going to end.