Say Okay (ON HOLD)

Chapter 21

Harry’s pov

"Louis I just don’t know what to do. I was fine before like nothing was complicated I didn’t have any feelings for her because I made myself forget about her but now I’ve seen her all of these feelings have come rushing back.” I said groaning.

"Harry I can’t tell you how to feel. I can’t control your feelings. It’s obvious that you will always have feelings towards her but that doesn’t change anything you still have responsibilities for Trevor and your family. “Louis replied.

"What family Louis? To me there is only me and Trevor Amber’s never there she’s always going on business trips and don’t tell me that it’s just a business trip.”

"I know it’s hard to stay with Amber but you need to be there for Trevor. “Eleanor replied. Louis placed his arm around her shoulder before pecking her cheek.

"Eleanor is right. “Louis said agreeing with Eleanor.

"I know that Louis but it’s hard. I feel like I’m the only one putting the effort in.I takes two to make a marriage but it only takes one to ruin it, in this case it’s Amber that’s not putting the effort in.I said shaking my hair before moving my hair out of my eyes.

I was so tired of trying to be a happy family. I didn’t want Trevor to grow up with complications like I did. But I didn’t know how much longer of this I could take.

Yes we acted like a normal married couple when Trevor was around but when Trevor was out of the picture it was constantly yelling with her blaming me on cheating or not spending enough time with her.

I yelled back telling her that I wasn’t the cheater that she was and that I’ve tried to spend time with her but she was never home because she was constantly working or going away on ‘business trips’.

At the end of the fight it was always Amber walking away and out the door leaving me to my thoughts.

I’ve had thoughts about leaving Amber and taking Trevor with me but I stayed. It killed me when Trevor always asked me when his mum was coming home. It crushed me because I asked my mother the same question when I was seven. I always told him that his mum was on business trips but after a while it got to the point where he cried because he wanted his mum. When he went to bed that night I called Amber telling her that her four year old son was crying because his mother was never home and that he missed her. All she said was to tell Trevor that she would back before he knew it.”She came home the next day acting like nothing happened.

Trevor was ecstatic when he saw his mum in his room. I could see that it killed Amber seeing her son this way. It was about time too. That whole week Amber spent every waking moment with him, it felt strange not having to worry about him for a couple of days. I thought that things were going to change, that we were finally going to be family, like a normal family. After seven days Amber went back to her normal ways and left with Trevor.

I guess people never change.

"Harry mate. “Louis said.

"Sorry Lou."

“‘It’s fine mate. Listen I got a text from Liam asking if we wanted to go clubbing tonight. “Louis said.

"Sure.” I replied taking out my phone. I went through my contacts before dialling Amber.

"Oh now you want to talk. “She said once she had answered the phone.

"Look I don’t want to argue with you I’m just informing you that I won’t be home until late tonight.” I said.

"WHAT “She yelled.

"Give me a second Lou.” I said before walking into the kitchen. I didn’t want Louis and Eleanor to hear the conversation that me and Amber were surely about to have.

"I was planning to go out tonight. “She said winning into the phone. No surprise there.

"No Amber I’m sick of this it’s time for you to take responsibility with Trevor. Hell Amber your never home. Your son misses you he misses his mum.” I said half whispering, half yelling.

"Harry I don’t want to take the responsibility I never wanted this. “Amber said.

"Why the hell would you even say that?"

"Harry I’m not the type of girl that wanted or wants a child. I need to be free. “She said calmly. I mean she didn’t even seem sorry.

"How dare you say that? Look Amber you win okay.” I said. I hated this I wanted out of this stupid, screwed up marriage.

"Thank you.”He said happily before hanging up.

"DON’T!!"I yelled before hanging up. I made my way into the lounge room.

"I can’t make it tonight.” I said before grabbing my keys.

"Why not? “Louis asked.

"Because Amber is a bitch."

"I’m sorry mate. We can go to the club another time. “Louis said.

"No you guys go. I’m sorry I have to go bye."

"Bye Harry. “Louis and Eleanor called in unison.

"Bye I’m sorry again.” I said before walking out the door.

Once I got into my house that I shared with Trevor and Amber, Amber was putting her heels on.

"Harry I know you wanted to go out tonight but I’m glad you came home. “Amber said pecking my cheek.

"Yeah whatever.” I said before brushing past her,

"Harry. “Amber called.

"What?” I asked turning back to her.

"Nothing. ‘She said before running out the door.

"Daddy. “Trevor called.

"Coming bud.” I replied.

"Daddy has mum left again? “He asked.

"Yeah she has but she will be back.” I said picking him up

"I miss mum. “Trevor said before he started crying.

"Hey hey she misses you too.” I said rubbing his back.

"If she did than why isn’t she here with me? “He asked mumbling into the crook of my neck.

"Some people deal with their emotions differently.” I said.

"Daddy can we have pizza for tea? “He asked.

"Sure bud.” I said before walking over towards the couch